February 11, 2005

Woman Rips Off Testicle

This Article Deserves Its Own Post

Thu Feb 10, 9:56 AM ET

LONDON (Reuters) - A British woman was sentenced to two and a half years in jail Thursday for ripping off her ex-lover's testicle with her bare hands during a drunken brawl after he refused her sex.

Amanda Monti, 24, flew into a rage in May last year after Geoffrey Jones, 37, who had ended their long-term relationship, rejected her advances. She grabbed him by the genitals, tearing off his left testicle, then hid it in her mouth before a friend of Jones handed it back to him saying "that's yours."

Monti, of Birkenhead, near Liverpool, pleaded guilty to unlawful wounding at an earlier hearing.

CLASSIC. I would like to think that after forcibly prying my friend's testicle from his ex's mouth, I would be blase enough to hand it back to him and say "that's yours." But instead, I'd probably be off puking somewhere. Well maybe not, but at the very least I'd put it on ice. Time is of the essence in these situations. I'm assuming. But I guess "That's yours" (no shit really, is there someone else in the room writhing on the floor covered in blood and missing a testicle?) is better than "Um, here."

And what was that other guy doing in the room? I guess this is one of those hypothetical situations where group sex or exhibitionism can be considered medically beneficial.

Seriously though... how do you rip off one testicle? I mean how did she divide the sac? Okay guys right now are so nauseated you're about to puke huh? I'll stop.

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