On Friday, we put on cammies and lay on our roof, sniping people who drove down our block too fast with paintball guns. Just kidding. But it seems like a pretty good idea for a Friday night. Note to self.
On Saturday, we ran some errands and did pretty much nothing. The car ride did, however, give me and Geo some free time for another of our serious marital discussions:
Me: Mike and Tony are going to be great dads.
Geo: Yeah, but they don't want to get married any time soon do they?
Me: I don't know about Tony, but I think Mike is on the 5-year plan.
Geo: Oh okay.
Me: Of course he needs to find the girl first.
Geo: He's going to be that guy who's like 40 and has a 20-year-old wife.
Me: I don't know. He says he has an age limit of 26 or something. He's pretty much the only guy I know that actually takes into consideration how a girl acts. Like he wants someone smart and mentally-balanced, not just hot.
Geo: Yeah, when I was young I didn't care how they acted.
Me: As long as they were hot?
Geo: No, as long as they were easy. I'd be like "She likes me? Aight. I can get in there."
Me: So they were like "I like him, he's funny and smart and sexy" and you were like "Eh, she'd bang me so I'd do her."
Geo: Pretty much.
Me: So essentially THEY had standards but YOU didn't. That means you're the one that was easy.
Geo: Yeah okay, I see that.
(Insert some boring talk about the Swiffer Wet Jet or something. Yet another name that makes a product sound a hell of a lot more intruiging than it actually is.)
Geo: How come it's called riding a motorcycle?
Me (Stalling for time): I guess for the same reason they call it riding a bicycle or a horse.
Geo: So it has to do with having it between your legs?
Me: I guess so because when you attach a carriage to a horse you're no longer riding it you're driving it.
Geo: But when you're riding a girl she's not between your legs, you're between hers.
Me: Yes but they still call it riding her. Unless I guess, you strap some luggage onto her then you're driving her.
Today, we hit up Paul's surprise 30th birthday party which he was actually surprised about, being that his birthday is in mid-June. But his wife is due with their second baby in late May, so I can understand why she wouldn't have wanted to do it then. It worked out for everyone anyway, because damn the expression on Paul's face was priceless. He was appreciative I'm sure, but not too pleased at first.
I must admit I laughed out loud when I received the invitation, because I was picturing his reaction considering that he a) hates being the center of attention b) dislikes parties in his honor c) dislikes being surprised or unprepared and d) dislikes people making a big deal out of his birthday. Which is in June. Oh God that is so funny!!! I am so throwing Geo a birthday party months away from the real date. I think it is the only way a wife can truly surprise her husband. So Paul's very first words to me were "And you're a jerk too by the way" presumably because I saw him last month and didn't say a word about it. I did feel a bit guilty about that but hey, the wife outranks the friends. And in all honesty, I knew it was going to be funny. And funny always outranks guilty.
Paul's shirt has stripes AND flowers on it.