But first, a message from our sponsors: Congrats to my boy Paul and his wife Jamie on their second child Max, who was born today!
1. What's with all the commercials of scary statues carrying food? First it was that Burger King statue holding the omelette sandwich, and now I just saw a Quaker Oats one that was similar. The BK one is especially freaky because the guy opens his fricken blinds and there's this psychotic-looking statue standing out there, offering him a sandwich. Which would scare the bejeezus out of me. But I guess eventually I'd get over it because he's holding food.
2. A couple of months ago me, Geo, Tony, Abel, Pete, Angelo and Dean stuffed ourselves into an SUV so we wouldn't have to drive more than one car to the restaurant. Tony and I were laughing about it a few days ago and thinking Ford should advertise in the ghetto with respect to the demographic. They could have a commercial where a whole bunch of thug life guys get out of the car one after the other and the slogans could be:
"We got their back so they can get yours."
"Your posse -- Never leave home without them."
"Roll deep with your peeps."
3. Is it wrong to joke about offing your friends.
Me: Which Steve are you talking about?
Mike: Steve the Australian Steve
Me: Oh okay. Dammit, we know too many Steves. We need to off a few.
Mike: Yeah we do.
Me: What are you talking for, we know too many Mikes too.
Mike: I'm a godfather to your kids. I'm safe.
Me: Yeah, you have a point. I'm cranky. I need to get back inside the house before I give in to the urge to kick one of these noisy schoolkids walking by.
Which reminds me that one thing I love about Geo are his random one-liners.
Me: I feel guilty but some of those kids that walk by are just annoying as hell.
Geo: Yeah I know. You just wanna yell "Get out of here, you're like coyotes!!!"
4. Tony and I asked some cops what was going on at Lincoln Park, because the whole place looked like it had been locked down. We thought maybe Habib Marwan was loose in the area. But the cops told us the reason the park was so heavily patrolled tonight, is because there are politicians in it waiting for the results of the election. The ballots are apparently tallied up in the park of all places. So politicians and their campaign staff wait there for the results and sometimes they bring liquor to celebrate (or I guess commiserate) and it can get rowdy. The cops patrol and set up checkpoints to make sure no one drives off drunk. And you thought Jersey City politics was just corrupt and sleazy. It's not JUST corrupt and sleazy, it's also really ghetto.
5. Every so often, I receive an e-mail forward that actually makes me laugh. 95% of them make me roll my eyes or think bad thoughts about the sender. But Kwam sent me this one that actually made me laugh out loud:
The Difference Between Guts and Balls
GUTS is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask "Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"
BALLS is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say "You're next."