1. Cross-marketing is out of control. Can someone please explain to me why there would ever be a need for Hummer brand cologne? There's even one for women. I wonder if it smells like that air freshener "New Car Scent." You know, for all those people that want to smell like a car. Mike J points out that the advertising copy reads "The Hummer adventure begins with a fresh and exhilarating burst of freshness..." I'm glad they clarified that. I hate it when freshness is unfresh and boring. Personally, I think it should be food companies that cross-market into colognes. If some guy smelled like popcorn or bacon frying I would follow him around for days.
2. I want to open up a restaurant that's going to be a cross between Bakers Square and IHOP. Of course, I only want to do this so I can name it "The Pancakery."
3. LT is back, much to my fantasy football relief. Testaverde blows. Donovan McNabb seems to be trying to prove something to critics that say he doesn't look for the pass enough. I personally think he should just play HIS game. Randy Moss is the third-option receiver on the Raiders. Torry Holt is playing next week, finally. Former players-turned-commentators are annoyingly biased. "The Eagles organization needs to respect T.O." Yeah okay, that must be because he's been so respectful himself and not undermined the team at all with his egotism. I would like New England to get spanked tomorrow night, but I'm not greedy. I'd take any win for the Colts.
4. When I was a kid, I used to LOVE the Pippi Longstocking books and movies. I'd push our two couches together to make a pirate ship, or pack a knapsack and run around our house pretending I was in Villa Villekulla. So I just about had a heart attack when I walked through Best Buy the other day and saw that all of the movies are now on DVD. Ain't technology grand? Add that to Shelley Duvall's Faerie Tale Theatre, The Black Stallion, The Journey of Natty Gann and The Black Cauldron and all my favorite movies as a kid are now on DVD. Toss in all the episodes of that old show Rags To Riches and I could sit at home re-living my childhood for hours. Anyone else remember that show? It was about a bunch of orphans who went to live with a millionaire named Nick Foley. They used to sing oldies like "Dream Lover" and "Yakety Yak" in every episode. I loved that show.
5. Speaking of fairy tales, I have a few questions and thoughts about them...
- If Cinderella's slipper was "a perfect fit" then why did it keep coming off?
- Why would Baby Bear's bowl be "just right" if it was the smallest one? Wouldn't his bowl be the one that's too cold instead of Mama Bear's, which had enough porridge to sustain heat?
- Instead of destroying all the spindles in the kingdom, why didn't Sleeping Beauty's parents just keep an eye on her during the year she was 15? And in those 15 years that there weren't any spindles in the kingdom, how did people make any clothes? I assume there wasn't a 15 year surplus of thread in the kingdom prior to the evil fairy's curse.
- In the original tale of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, she's seven years old when she's cast out and her Wicked Stepmother tries to kill her. After she eats the poisoned apple, she never changes in appearance, meaning she doesn't age. So when the Prince saves her and makes her his bride, she's still seven years old, which makes him a Royal Pedophile. Seems to be a common theme in fairy tales though. The Frog Prince married a kid who cried because her golden ball fell into a well.
- If the Old Witch was smart enough to build a house made of candy to lure children to her, why wasn't she smart enough not to lean into an oven with Gretel behind her?
- The Little Mermaid was the poster child for corporal punishment.
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