24: Hour Thirteen

24: Hour Thirteen

1. First and foremost, forget piss. Who took a huge, heaping dump into the 24 writers' Cheerios? So many main characters have died that my new favorite character after Jack is Chloe. That's like the Secretary of Transportation ascending to the Presidency, because everyone else in line got assassinated.

2. My favorite line of the night was Chloe telling Ponyboy "Is that all you do, tell people to breathe?" But my fake favorite line of the night was "This is a high priority Curtis." Okay, thanks Bill. In my head Curtis responded "You really needed to tell me that saving the people who are apparently the only ones in the entire country trying to fend off impending terrorist attacks is a high priority. Guess I should pull out of this McDonald's drive-through." My second favorite line came from Harry the Security Guard to The Hobbit "So we're all going to die because you were embarrassed."

3. Ray Wise (the VP) was creepy on Twin Peaks and he's creepy on 24. Maybe he's just creepy. Either that or you know how some people always get cast as cops or soldiers? He always gets cast as Creepy Guy.

4. Ponyboy ALMOST got an ass beating, which is too bad considering few people deserve it more than a psychiatrist who identifies his most fucked in the head patient as an easy hit. "She lost her dad and her one-armed boyfriend in the same year. This girl's going to be spreading like melted butter."

5. What's the debate about. Of course The Hobbitt should go and save everyone. It's the least he can do after being responsible for 60% of his staff dying. I felt bad when they showed Edgar dying again, but felt nothing when The Hobbitt died. That old adage about your chicks coming home to roost kept floating around in my head. The writers are super sadistic though, making us think for a hot second that they just might live. And of course the writers had to go there with the official Good-bye Daddy Phone Call. As Kwame says, "They like to go to that well early and often."

6. Speaking of which, no they did not take Tony Almeida out LIKE THAT. All his years of service on the show and they let him die like a punk, with some old ass, drugged out guy stabbing him in the heart then injecting him with Something Bad. I mean sure Tony was about to kill the guy and all but he thought the guy was in a coma. Technically that's legal in this country.

7. Which is why someone needs to hit Kim Bauer over the head, really hard. I vote for Audrey.

8. There's apparently a surfeit of old white women working in the government sector, because they keep finding random ones to take over CTU. This one is bringing her posse. Which I totally don't mind because I love watching Jack Bauer beat up on new people. They're new so you haven't formed any type of attachment to them, meaning everything Jack does is fair game. Oh wait, everything he does is fair game anyway. By the way, a conversation with Kwame about how they just toss in anyone and everyone to head up CTU segued into a conversation about the Jets and their quarterbacks.

9. I guess this is the last season? They've taken out 80% of the decent main characters and replaced them with nameless, useless scrubs.