1. I called, or rather "Skyped" into Mango's internet radio show last Monday and for some reason decided to tell him about the Diva Cup. But then I felt bad, because I haven't even told YOU GUYS about The Diva Cup. Which, quite possibly, is the most vile feminine invention ever. Blah blah the environment and blehhhhhhh. I don't consider myself squeamish about my body but I am not trying to hold a fricken cup of menstrual blood.
2. (Courtesy of Kwam) Bill Simmons from Page 2 recently wrote about that new re-make of the show Deal or No Deal. He said "For whatever reason, this idiotic show passes the "Would you turn the channel?" test. It's hypnotically moronic." And he is so right. I normally only catch one or two episodes during their weeklong events, but during each one I scream and cheer on the person like it's the Super Bowl of game shows. Sometimes Geo and I do post-show analysis using math. Because we're Asian. And that's what we do.
3. This article about a boy who stuck a wad of chewing gum onto a $1.5 million painting is pretty funny. Don't get me wrong, the art lover in me is appalled. But the rest of my brain is laughing at the sheer audacity of the boy. As long as it ain't MY kid.
4. Speaking of my kids, my daughters saw their first movie on Tuesday, Curious George. Seriously, that movie is cute as hell. I mean really fricken cute. Like you just want to run out and buy a crapload of merchandise cute. Which we didn't, but the desire was there. Still is actually, or I wouldn't have spent 20 minutes last night, picking through the Ebay results of "Curious George plush" for the Kelly toys ones. Also, the theatre charges $6.75 per person for a matinee, including teeny tiny kids. So never, ever, ever ever ever go to the Lowes on Route 22 in Mountainside, New Jersey. There. I've struck one against The Man.
5. Mike J sent me an article about some new 184-proof whiskey with the question "Could THIS be your Kryptonite?" There's no way in hell I would do it NOW, but I have actually had something stronger than that. Back in 1995, T and I once did some shots of Everclear (190 proof) then went and played tennis. There have also been a few other Everclear episodes, but as to be expected they're a bit hazy in my memory.
6. For the last month or so, every night I've been eating chicken nuggets with "Spicy Buffalo" sauce purloined from McDonald's, and raw cauliflower dipped in ranch dressing. No, I'm not pregnant. Though this craving threw me off for awhile and I actually took a test (no, not the SAT.)
7. The MegaMillions Jackpot is at 256 million or something. You know what's interesting about lottery tickets? How people say "Oh my God the jackpot is 256 million, we have to buy tickets." But if the jackpot is that high, then your chances of winning are like 1 in 568923468 jillion versus 1 in 9569454 jillion if the jackpot were lower and less people were buying tickets. Yet $25 million is just as useful as $250 million to someone who is "poor" enough to play the lottery. What do I know, I always want to win the lottery but can't seem to get around to buying tickets.
Speaking of procrastination, Mike J got me a planner for Groundhog's Day. It has tips in it like "When you get the feeling you have to do something you don't want to do, do something else until the feeling goes away." Which to a seasoned procrastinator, is like saying "always flush the toilet" or "swallow food after you've chewed it" or "wipe your ass."
It's good that stupid list making is one of my favorite hobbies.
No comments:
Post a Comment