Dreams (As In Real Ones Not The Fleetwood Mac Song)

Dreams (As In Real Ones Not The Fleetwood Mac Song)

But first, my last show is available for download here.

Also, this past holiday weekend I ate: Crispy crab won-tons, taquitos, chicken marsala, popcorn shrimp, fries, coleslaw, pizza, Oreo cheesecake, two corn dogs, more fries, california rolls, guacamole, spinach dip and pita bread, penne a la vodka with grilled chicken and asparagus, beef tacos, pork chops, garlic mashed potatoes, cauliflower, string beans, corn on the cob, General Tso's chicken, more pizza, fried chicken from KFC, chicken nuggets, mashed potatoes with gravy, biscuits, more coleslaw, a coffee Coolatta, double chocolate donut, spicy BBq chips, banana marshmallow pies, Cheez-its, a Jamaican beef patty and a Dairy Queen Heath bar blizzard.

Oh but then I drank a Diet Coke. Okay not really, it was regular Coke.

For you armchair computer psychologists, I've been having weird dreams again. In the one that sticks out, I was carrying around one of those plastic chinese food trays and it was filled with slimy worms, slugs, caterpillars and those nasty brown bugs that look like the one they pulled out of Neo's stomach in The Matrix. The tray tipped over onto my bed and I kept trying to get the creepy crawlies back in without touching them. Eventually, I got them in the tray and then accidentally set it down on the stove. They burned to a crisp and my sister Leah ran in crying because they were her bugs, which was why I was trying to save them.

Last night I dreamt that me and Julian Mcmahon (Dr. Christian Troy on Nip/Tuck) were on a romantic cruise. Or so I thought. Really the trip was a front for his illegal dealings with some shady-looking characters. At one point he had lunch with some random pregnant chick I know from a message board. So I dumped him, but then he played the accordion. And I guess that was enough for me to take him back. Dream Me is really, really easy. Hey Riss, did you get laid? No. Have I mentioned that my dreams really really suck?

Awhile back I dreamt that Geo and I were in a supermarket, and that we came across some girl that was digging on a dirt hillside. Yes, a hillside right in the middle of the supermarket, to the left of the frozen foods aisle. She had a whole bunch of random stuff that she stole from my girl Nadia, whom she was stalking. We went to meet Nadia at some hotel in the city, but when we got there, we were split off into groups. For some reason, each group had to make a home video and learn a dance routine. We made the video, but the judges screamed at Geo's cousin Aris who directed it, because they thought he was making fun of the hurricane in Florida. But he wasn't, it's just that someone had left a window open in the room during filming.

Then there was a scene where I had to explain the 5th Amendment to Nadia's stalker. Afterwards, our group had to do the dance routine, which I faked because I'd forgotten to learn it. I don't know why but the judges made us perform it on top of metal folding chairs. Picture like 20 people line dancing on top of two rows of folding chairs, while three judges watch from onstage. It was just a weird dream. The dream I had before it was one of my usual almost-got-laid dreams, but more interesting than usual because it had kinky dialogue. You take what you can get.