Weird Dreams Again

Weird Dreams Again

Why are my dreams never normal. I had to call Geo at work the other day:

Me: So this morning you left me forever to be with some hoochie in Guam and I moved in with Heath Ledger into a 3-story co-op in Manhattan across from Saks Fifth and for some reason your aunt and uncle and Manny and Janelle were all there too but they weren't talking to me and I couldn't figure out what I'd done wrong until I realized they didn't know you were gone so they thought I was cheating on you with Heath Ledger and making him feel bad about it behind my back. Also, I couldn't leave the bedroom except to walk someone's dog.
Geo: Who is this?
Me: You're an ass.

Incidentally, despite my inadvertent liking for the movie Casanova, I don't find Heath Ledger attractive at all. But it's okay because my uncontrolled dream embargo on sex ensures that I don't wake up grossed out. It's better to be grossed out however, than scared shitless, which is what I was last night. Okay let me turn on the light real quick.

Anyway, I had some nightmare that I was back at my parent's house in Los Angeles and I went to visit some woman who lived down the street (one of those strangers that appear in your dreams). For some reason I stayed the night at her house, sleeping on the bed in between her and her eight-year-old daughter in a bedroom which resembles my parents' room. The mom picks that time to tell me that some ghost from the days of Regency England is tormenting her daughter. Then this fucking ghost appears and starts bitching at me and I'm too scared to run. But the woman can't see and so she keeps getting out of bed to pee and every time, this scary fucking spectre in a grey waistcoat is sticking his scary fucking face under the covers and whispering to me. It was very The Picture of Dorian Gray meets The Sixth Sense. But without Bruce Willis, who I wish had popped into the dream with some gasoline and a lighter and gone all "Yippee-kai-yay motherfucker" on the ghost.

Apparently he was mad because he had called dibs on the mom and thought I was moving in on his territory. I kept trying to point out that I was a married, heterosexual woman but he wouldn't relent. Eventually the woman's newborn started crying and when we went to go get him, my twins were there too for some reason so I scooped them up. The woman could see the ghost then and he had called his ghost posse to attack us, so all of us were running through the house trying to escape and as we ran through the front door, the fricken house fell into the ground behind us. Normally I can wake myself up when I'm frightened in dreams but this time I was just frozen into it for what felt like a really long time. It was probably about 5 minutes in real life though.

Why am I always INUNDATED WITH STUPID DREAMS.