(In case you need to catch up, here's a list of my posts on 24. They're not episode summaries though, just thoughts.)
1. Curtis is kind of dumb. Doesn't he know that the black guy is always in danger of dying first. Yet he's the only person who enters the hangar that may contain a terrorist without a helmet. His face would still be exposed to enemy gunfire but at least the rest of his head would be protected.
2. The First Lady had her moment of glory with the unbuttoned bodice blackmail but she's back to being an idiot. Why haven't she and her idiot of an assistant had the "Only-you-and-I-knew-that-the-paper-was-in-my-blouse-so-who-did-you-tell" conversation yet.
3. Chloe had the best line of the night. "Okay Edgar, when the terror alert level drops and we find the nerve gas, we'll have some chamomile tea and I'll tell you all my secrets. Okay?"
4. When Audrey said "Come with me" to Jack's new girlfriend you know she was really saying "Come with me... you skank." At least that's the way the scene went in my head. Followed by:
Farm mom: I didn't know Jack worked in a place like this. Did you know him before?
Douche Bag Audrey: Yes, I knew him. Biblically. So that thing you taste on his cock when you blow him, that's me.
5. Blah blah blah "legality" and blah blah blah "civil rights" but it's stupidly funny that since it's illegal for a workplace to record telephone conversations without saying it's being recorded, all this treason is going on over CTU cell phones and Blackberry pagers. And the Chief of Staff's regular cell phone apparently since he takes calls to confirm treasonous plots while in full view and hearing of President Logan. Who of course, is such a fucking dildo that his staff could parade in front of him naked with the words "I'M COMMITTING TREASON" and he'd be oblivious to it.
6. Me, Geo and Tony got a little bit too excited when Chloe's Bang Buddy was about to be interrogated. "YEAH!!! BUST OUT THE SHOTS, IT'S THE FIRST TORTURING OF THE SEASON!!" "WOO-HOO Get Jack to do it!!! Get Jack to do it!!!" "Jack is gonna fuck you up beeyatch!!!" Jack is going to do it so they don't have to bring up Eric the mysterious torture expert.
7. Chloe was so winning points for how she handled her bang buddy but then the writers had to go and fucking ruin it by making her whine like a little bitch" Why did you have to crawl into my bed" cry whine sniffle, in front of the boss no less. Off-camera, Riss vomits. Seriously though, the Writers That Be HATE women. They're all angry, lonely men apparently. There's been:
- Psycho Sherry
- Nice Wife Teri Bauer Who Dies
- Psycho Mistress/Assassin Nina
- Brainwashed White Girl Who Killed Her Fiancee
- Psycho Black Chick That Cheated On Joey With Ross
- Chick Who Cheated On Her Crippled Husband With Wayne Palmer
- Dumbass Kim Bauer
- Douche Bag Audrey
- Crazy First Lady
- Dumb Asian Broad Assistant-to-the-First-Lady
- That Dumb Chick Who Got Tortured Last Season
- Mean Woman Who Ran CTU Until Her Daughter Killed Herself
- Michelle Dessler Who We Finally Started Liking And Got Blown Up
- Chloe Who Was Redeeming Herself By Helping Jack Again Then Lost It In Front Of Her Boss
- Normal and Nice Kate Who Jack Dumped
8. "Send Security to find Jack." CTU doesn't have a P.A. system? Even the ghetto ass NBA had a P.A. system. We used to fuck around on it all the time after 6pm.
9. A Fox News promo asked... "If Keifer Sutherland was off 24 would you still watch it?" Uhhh 24 without Jack Bauer is like non-alcoholic beer. What's the point.
10. AB just reminded me of why I scribbled "gunray" on my notes. I was looking at it and wondering what the hell it meant. It means: If CTU security isn't x-raying bags to look for weaponry or parts of weaponry then what the hell are they x-raying the bags for? "Sir, the silencer and barrel, trigger mechanism, chamber, bullets and grip are okay but you're going to have to leave behind this nail file."
11. Kwam just reminded me that I also forgot to make fun of Curtis for TOUCHING the fried rats. Who touches fried rats if they don't have to? Since when is that even remotely a good idea? I wouldn't even touch an unfried rat in my house (we don't have any though) not to mention some random fried rat in an airport hangar filled with empty canister holders, next to a terminal that was held up by terrorists, one of which we chased into the building. Also, weren't they worried about bombs at all before they went in?
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