1. Some guy got arrested for throwing his prosthetic legs at police. That brings new meaning to the phrase "everything and the kitchen sink." The best part of the article is the random picture they threw in on the left side. The caption should read "We couldn't get a picture of the perp so here are some random prosthetic legs at some random gym." By the way, I would pay money to see what happened after the melee was over and the guy was just sitting on the ground. "Umm... do you mind passing me the legs I just threw at you? Thanks."
2. So I watched the Colin Farrell sex tape almost in its entirety and the thing that disturbed me the most (other than Colin's corny color commentary) was the "set." You'd think an A-list actor and a Playboy Playmate would have a healthy respect for the concept of staging. I was expecting candles, satin sheets and top shelf pron on a 42-inch plasma in the background. Instead they gave us BET on a crappy Toshiba, in what looks to be some $300/month studio apartment in Reseda. It looked like her bed was in the living room.
Anyway on Saturday I got this call from Leah:
Leah: Oh my God guess who Mike saw today outside his friend's record shop on Melrose?
Me: I don't know.
Leah: We spent an hour last week making fun of him.
Me: Colin Farrell?
Leah: Yup! Mike took a picture but didn't get his face.
"Hey baby, if my eyes could blush they would, that trash can is so hot."
I searched this world wide web thing a bit and I think he was wearing this shirt. Also, two Thanksgivings ago my friends said if I were a guy I would be Colin Farrell. They said they meant I'd get ass like it's nobody's business, but now I think they just meant I don't bathe enough. But they said Lani would be Jude Law and he banged his nanny, so the moral of the story is that guys are all dirty freaks.
Incidentally, the Tom Sizemore link Popfizz provided in the comments section of the Colin sex tape post was an interesting experience. It was like entering some sort of alternate universe where everything is disgusting.
3. Mike J bought himself some high-falutin new music gadget so I inherited the iPod his company gave him for Christmas. WOOT! He had about 500 songs on there but I only liked about 10 of them so I deleted them all and started from scratch. (By the way Mike, "I Want You" by Savage Garden????? For those of you out of the know, "I Want You" is that song with the guy who talks all fast then says "chicken Cherry Cola.") Who am I to make fun of anyone though. I like these crappy songs remember.
4. We're so damn politically correct these days. Who cares if Gene Shalit referred to Jake Gyllenhaal's character in Brokeback Mountain as a sexual predator. What, a gay guy can't be a sexual predator? Regardless of politics, an Asian person can be a bad driver who speaks no English. A Spanish person can be an illegal immigrant paid off the books. A black person can be a drug dealer with a sawed-off shotgun. A gay, half-black, half-Korean guy can be a non-English-speaking sexual predator, with a sawed off shotgun, who can't drive. Got it? Just like a white person can be all of those things. We're so fucking politically correct now that we can't even call people what they actually are. Soon people will be referred to as "Narcotics Providers" or "English Impaired" or "Citizenship Deficient."
5. Disney is acquiring Pixar which is not much of a surprise considering their past collaborations. But why doesn't Pixar want to make a Toy Story 3? Is it me or is that a no-brainer? Perhaps it's one of those esoteric creative things that I don't understand. I would make a 3 and a 4 and keep on making them until one failed. Toy Story 53, coming to a theatre near you June 2050!
6. Chris Penn died, which is sad considering he was so young. I just recently watched Best of the Best for the first time too, and had a conversation with Min and Geo about him. Pour another one for the homies.
7. In my last 24 post, Tony posted some quotes which I think came from this site. These are my favorites:
- You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.
- If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.
- Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.
- Jack Bauer was never addicted to heroin. Heroin was addicted to Jack Bauer.
- 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.
- If Jack and MacGyver were locked in a room together, Jack would make a bomb out of MacGyver and get out.
- Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.
- Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.
- Lets get one thing straight, the only reason you are conscious right now is because Jack Bauer does not feel like carrying you.
- Killing Jack Bauer doesn't make him dead. It just makes him angry.
- When life gave Jack Bauer lemons, he used them to kill terrorists. Jack Bauer fucking hates lemonade.
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