August 23, 2006

Tequila Shots For The Radio: Volume 20

Tequila Shots For The Radio: Volume 20
(aka "The Most Offensive Show Yet")

I actually did try to build the playlist "Songs With The Word 'Baby' In The Title." But realized after I was done that it was worse than the playlist I created for the "Songs I Like That Make Other People Wish They Were Dead" show. Instead, since it was my 20th show, I decided to replay songs from my first ever foray into internet radioery, which includes Passin' Me By by The Pharcyde, Scotty Doesn't Know by Lustra and Hits From The Bong by Cypress Hill.

The show can be downloaded in its entirety here, but I wouldn't recommend it. Courtesy of my multi-racial chat room participants it's just two hours of blatant racial stereotyping. The whole thing is of course Mango's fault, since I opened up the evening to questions from the chat room and his first one was "Is it just Japanese people who love Mickey Mouse or do all of you love him?" (HAHAHAHA!) And the night just degenerated from there. By the way, the answer is that only the Japs like Mickey Mouse, the rest of us slant eyes like Hello Kitty. And Pochaco to a lesser degree. In fact, while we're on the subject, someone get me the Judith Lieber Hello Kitty Minaudiere for Christmas. Please. It's only $2000, what a steal. I will make every person at the massage parlor/karaoke bar turn greenish yellow with envy. I will have to beat them off with the Hello Kitty gun.

Other topics discussed (once again, courtesy of questions from the evil, evil evil EVIL people in the chat room and not my fault at all despite the fact that I was the only one with a microphone):

-How white men love 80 lb women and black men like women who are "slovenly."
-How Asian women prance around in their size 2 jeans because we should get some compensation for having no tits AND no ass (except Min, she is a big-breasted goddess. Sometimes when I hang out with her in a group, she has larger boobs than the rest of us at the table combined.)
-How black people kill off their young who are born with small penises (according to Kwame "It's for their own good.")
-How Mango's fear of getting stabbed at the Compton Swap Meet is irrational, he's more likely to get shot than stabbed.
-How there's no good racial slur for white people. The term "cracker" is weak. Who could possibly be offended by being called a food item. We love food. Food rocks. If I call you a cracker it is a deep compliment, it means I want to smother you with brie and eat you up.
-How Mike J is The Worst Jew Ever, as proven by the fact that last Saturday night a Jewish Comedian asked "Are there any Jews in the house tonight?" And Mike slunk down in his chair, grabbed his beer and tried to look as Irish as possible. Did I tell you guys that he once left a gold Star of David in a pile of urine once? Right there on the bathroom floor. Jehova was testing him and he failed completely. Abraham was willing to kill his own son.
-How Asian people sometimes have green things on their asses called "Mongolian Birthmarks" which I guess are supposed to be blue but on Asian people look green.
-Dating tips from Kaan who says, "I love white chicks who think they're black. If you see a white girl smoking Newports then she'll do anal on the first date."

Anyway. Don't download it. It's horrible. We are bad, bad people. And by "we" I mean them, those people in the chat room. You know who you are. Here is a wet towel and some bottled water, may they protect you from the fires of hell.

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