September 13, 2006

Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

Back To Our Regularly Scheduled Programming

I won't be putting up the download until later, but all you need to know about last night's show is that:

The Raiders were a mess on Monday night. ARE a mess, Kwame would correct me on his sports blog (which I love). Up against the team with the best rushing defense they decided to rush as much as possible. Then rush some more, despite gaining very little yardage. So then they came out after the half and decided to make up for it by "passing" as much as possible. I say "passing" because that implies a quarterback actually throwing properly to an intended target. Aaron Brooks was horrible. Allegedly he has a 54% completion rate, which is weird because *I* would probably have a 54% completion rate if I played in the NFL. In his minor defense, the few times he did manage to get the ball into a receiver's vicinity, that receiver dropped it. And his offensive line crumpled every time a Charger breathed on them. On top of all that, the ghost of Norv Turner/Kerry Collins is still around because the Art Shell/Aaron Brooks combo apparently also holds the notion that plays involving Randy Moss should be used sparingly. The only semi-bright spot in the whole miserable game (well, besides the fact that my fantasy team has LaDanian Tomlinson again but we're talking about the Raiders right now) was that the defense picked it up after the half. Oh and Shane Lechler. It's sad when there's so little to cheer about you have to get happy over your punter. But, like a true Raider fan I'm optimistic. We have to get better because we can't get worse. Plus (to quote Geo) "Our team can kick your team's ass." Literally, we mean. And what. By the way Jerry, don't sit on the sidelines and laugh at your quarterback getting sacked a hundred times. It's mean.

Now on to some random TV thoughts:

1. I take back what I said about Sanaa Latham, she is smokin' on Nip/Tuck. She came on last night in a sleeveless black dress and a Chanel bag, and even though some old woman was feeling her up I was still like "Damn, she's hot." Incidentally, what the heck are they doing with this new Dr. Christian Troy lusts after Dr. Macnamara storyline. They're killing me. If Dr. Troy were even remotely bi he would have nailed Bruno Campo's character. Before they found out he was a psychotic serial killer of course. Even Dr. Troy has to have some standards. And good call by the producers on the random scenes of full Julian McMahon posterior nudity. By the way, that Nip/Tuck commercial with the two doctors fixing up the sculpture still turns me on every time I see it. I'm like Pavlov's dogs.

2. They left Jack Bauer languishing in some Chinese prison for almost 2 years, and Wayne Palmer (the sleazy Presidential Brother) is now president of the United States, having run I assume on a platform of public sympathy for his assassinated brother. Season 6 of 24 is going to rock.

Look what I found at Target for 9 bucks.

3. My preference for the remaining contestants on Rock Star: Supernova in order of like is Dilana, Toby, Magni and Lukas. Yes, Lukas has a better voice than Toby and Magni (and pretty much all the rest of the male contestants) combined but it's not like he's entering a genre that places that at the top of its requirements. Vince Neal, Steven Tyler, Axl Rose and company don't exactly have great vocal talent. What I dislike about Lukas is how angsty he is. He acts like he grew up in a foster home, where his foster parents made him suck dick to support their own crack habit. So if that didn't actually happen then his entire persona seems contrived. Magni seems like a nice guy but to me he's like the flower-shaped carrot decorating your dinner plate. It's cute that it's there but doesn't really affect your enjoyment of the actual meal. Toby is just plain fun as hell to watch and the Australian accent is sure to draw in even more groupies. Dilana is awesome, I didn't think what she said was as bad as the editing made it seem like. And let's face it, rock stars have said far stupider things in the history of music.

4. Right now I'm moving Kwame to the bottom of my friends list for getting me addicted to that trainwreck of a show Flavor of Love. It's insanity. So far in the season one of the girls has taken a dump on the living room floor, contestants have come to blows over which bed they want to use, we've seen Warren G more times than we've seen him in the last ten years and Flav has banged about half of the contestants. And when he's not banging them he is swapping saliva in close-up shots that make me throw up a little in my mouth each and every time. Good Lord. And yet at 1a.m. on Sunday night, there I am channeling towards VH1. I can't eat while watching the show though. You never know when Flav might get the urge to tongue someone up and then all of a sudden it's one cheeseburger gone to waste.

5. I may have to jump on the Survivor: Season 13 bandwagon, only for this one season. They're going to divide the teams up by RACE. That's another trainwreck in the making, but I bet it will be funny as hell to watch.

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