December 13, 2006

Shower Thoughts Are Here Again Doo Da

Shower Thoughts Are Here Again Doo Da

But first, there's no show tonight due to unforeseen airport circumstances but I will be back on the air next week!

1. There's a Wiggles bandaid stuck to the wall of my shower. It's a little disconcerting to be in the shower naked and looking at them. And yet I haven't removed it.

2. Typos that make sense are great. I was showing this vibrating duck off online and accidentally said it was for the "bathrub" (the bathtub). Hee, a bathrub. That is my new favorite word. Let's all go have bathrubs. Bathrubs for all!!

3. I like to watch people shower. Not that I have any other outlet for this hobby besides Geo, I don't want you guys to start nervously looking out your bathroom windows in the morning (come on, what's a little peeping between friends). But if it were up to me people would be randomly half nekkid and wet with a snap of my fingers. Oh hello Mr. UPS Man, don't you look nice today. And my what a nice package you have. Oh hi Ms. Olive Garden Waitress, please set those toasted raviolis and clam stuffed mushrooms down and step back for a moment.

4. Damn, now I'm hungry.

5. Remember that time I said I wouldn't be able to decide between a lifetime of great sex and crappy food OR a lifetime of great food and crappy sex? I think the answer may lie with the time of day the question is posed. Because right now I would vote solidly for the food, but that could change at a moment's notice. Maybe I could just get a coin, with the word "HUNGRY" on one side and the word "HORNY" on the other.

6. What does any of this have to do with the shower? I don't know. I bought a gallon-sized bottle of conditioner at Costco last year and it's still around. I'm not a huge fan of the smell or texture of it, yet I can't bear to pour half a gallon of conditioner down the drain. See what parenthood does to you? Frugality rears its head at the stupidest of moments. Meanwhile, I think my hair smells like earwax. Will someone please pour it down the drain the next time they take a piss at my house? It's like the magically replenishing bottle of conditioner. Of course, that's what I get for shopping at Costco. One $6 bottle from there is large enough to condition the hair of New Zealand.

7. See, that was a shower thought.

8. Sometimes, I want to wear socks in the shower. Not that I actually do, but the urge is there. I've even had to pause after running the water and contemplate my lilac slipper socks on occasion.

I know I'm a freak.

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