May 1, 2007



LBB had a post awhile ago asking his readers what they believe. Being a rather opinionated person, I obviously have thousands of beliefs. But here are some random ones. I believe:

That loyalty is the best trait in a friend, followed closely by "deviant sense of humor."

That if 4% of the people pay 90% of the taxes then they should just round it up and give the rest of us a break. (Okay maybe I don't actually believe in this one but damn it would be nice.)

That it doesn't hurt anyone for me to believe that the people I love who are gone from this world, have gone somewhere better.

That having an opinion which differs from mine is better than having no opinion at all. Unless you're just mindlessly parroting what you hear, in which case you should go find other people who do the same thing and occupy each other.

That laughter doesn't fix everything, but it gives you strength so you can try.

That some people are just crazy and you can't explain it, rehabilitate it or understand it. Just check the "crazy" column off and move on.

That living to eat is better than eating to live, as long as you have the willpower to get your ass on a treadmill.

That the words "Azerbijian, Andalusia, proliferous, dichotomy, irreverent, paradigm, exorbitant, symbiotic, discrepancy" and "verboten" are really fun to say.

That the true test of what I've accomplished in life will be how my kids turn out.

That you're never too old to eat Captain Crunch for dinner, get dressed up for Halloween, wade in a public fountain or slide down a banister on your ass.

That there is a hell, and in it people are eating veggie burgers, drinking non-alcoholic beer, watching televised golf and scrubbing toilets 24-7.

That sex is therapeutic, followed closely by playing the guitar, working out and singing in the shower.

That life is beautiful, but it's also scary, exhilarating, funny, abnormal, wild, challenging, amusing, devastating, inspiring, spectacular, infuriating, crazy, amazing, exhausting, invigorating and passionate.

That "A good friend will bail you out of jail, but a great friend will be sitting in the cell next to you saying 'Damn that was crazy.'"

That people (including myself) spend too much time stressing over shit that seems important but is actually trivial.

That American football is the greatest sport in the world. And the Raiders will win more than 2 games this year.

That one day I'll see a Chinese couple walking down the street, with their adopted blond-haired, blue-eyed baby.

That Batman is the best superhero ever, even if he doesn't have actual superpowers.

That faith will pull you through, whether it's religious faith, faith in yourself, faith in your loved ones, faith in life itself or faith in the healing power of ice cream and Spicy Buffalo and Ranch Doritos.

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