Top 9 Reasons I Am Glad To Be Gainfully Employed
1. I may no longer feel compelled to write letters of complaint such as:
I hate you. I hate you and I hope you die.
2. Apparently, PSE&G doesn't consider expired Old Navy coupons an acceptable form of bill payment.
3. Tired of paying for the #1 Value Meal at McDonald's in coins. The people behind you in the drive-through get kinda mad. And then I have to throw ketchup packets at them.
4. Felt a bit guilty about the fact that I owe my friends a cumulative total of 482,938,697 drinks.
5. Felt a bit guilty about the fact that I owe my friends a cumulative total of about 50,239 meals.
6. It's nice to have a bank balance larger than my shoe size. Incidentally, it's amusing that the bank charges you $35 when your account becomes overdrawn. I didn't have $2 to cover my last transaction. What makes you think I have $35.
7. The Prada store has been sending me handwritten "We miss you, come back" cards for the last five years. Not that I will be having tea with them any time soon but it's pleasant to have the option.
8. Apparently, eviction is not a very uplifting experience. I've heard it ranks somewhere above "24-hour infomercials" yet below "Having your toenails ripped off then fed to you."
Of course, there is one Top Reason It Sucks To Have a Job:
My daughter Angelina walked up to me today and said "Mommy, tomorrow Daddy can go to work and you stay at home with Angelina okay?"
Great, kid. Why don't you just take a knife and stab me in the heart.