August 8, 2007

Random Stuff: Chapter 932

Random Stuff: Chapter 932

1. Yes Mike, a football post is coming. REAL football, not that "soccer" thing foreigners like Steve sometimes play. I am approaching the season with my usual tingly excitement, yet it's mixed with some dread as I survey that freaking All-Star team they've put together in the north. When they play Dallas in October I plan to drink an entire 6-pack in one hour, then spend the remainder of the afternoon booing both sides. Who's with me? Kwam? Tony? Abe?

2. Bad Thai cops are now forced to wear Hello Kitty armbands as a mark of shame. Funny as hell. That probably wouldn't work here, they'd just find a way to machofy it (Yes, I realize that's not a word. So sue me.) It could work if you know, Hello Kitty was a man and he was making out with another man.

3. I love news headlines.

Adult Binge Drinkers However, Prefer Chocolate Milk.

4. You know those Yoplait commercials where the women are sitting around saying crap like "This is burning this bridesmaid dress good" blah blah and "I'd like the thank the Academy good" etc. Wouldn't it be fun to see that commercial filmed on the street unscripted? I think in Jersey City you'd hear things like:

"This is sex from someone who isn't a crackho good."
"This is they didn't forget any of your food so you didn't have to go back to the McDonald's drive-through good."
"This is that guy walked by and didn't bum a smoke off me good."
"This is the guy pissing in my front yard is my cousin and not some random crackhead good."
"This is no one has jacked me for my iPod good."
"This is real hotel room and not one of the pay-by-the-hour motels on route 1 and 9 good."
"This is White Castle murder burgers at 3 in the morning while you're still drunk good."
"This is it's not too hot so the smell of landfill isn't very strong good."
"This is the bus actually stopped for me and didn't hit anyone on the way to Journal Square good."
"This is my neighbor actually picked his dog's shit up off my sidewalk good."
"This is police car chasing a drug dealer and my car didn't get hit good."

They probably wouldn't sell too much yogurt though huh.

5. Tony treated us (Thanks Tony!!) to fettucine alfredo, steak gorgonzola alfredo, toasted raviolis, stuffed mushrooms, chicken fingers, garlic breadsticks and salad last night. I think it had to do with this "subliminal" picture message I sent him:

"You are wanting breadsticks..."

Tony is better at graffiti than me.

I have my moments though.

6.Geo and I took the kiddos to a waterpark (Sesame Place) last week for the first time. It was pretty cool, if you can get over the fact that you're being doused with or wading around in water containing the pee of about 5000 children and probably more than a few adults. I got over it pretty fast, 96-degree weather will do that to a person. I felt sorry for the people in the big furry character costumes though. They should get hazard pay, heatstroke is not pleasant. I think I saw Cookie Monster tossing his cookies into Oscar's can.

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