Random Shower Thoughts For a Wednesday Morning
I was in the shower this morning and was assailed by a plethora of random thoughts. I looked around for a pen but being that I was in the shower, my search proved futile. So hopefully I'll remember them all but if I don't then who's going to know.
"Wow, this Bath and Body Works shower cream really lathers well..." Just kidding -- those are normal shower thoughts, not today's shower thoughts. Anyway, ever try and imagine the amount of money that rich people overpay for their purchases, just by nature of their monetary status? For example, my optometrist in Los Angeles has a very lucrative practice. His offices are in Santa Monica and Marina Del Rey, two places not known for having low rents. He once charged me $35 for ONE pair of contact lenses that most other optometrists sell a box of SIX pairs for $80. What the fuck?? Highway robbery. But despite my boycott of his services which you'd think would mean something, his practice is flourishing. So obviously some rich people are out there not realizing nor caring that he's receiving an almost 900 jillion percent markup on their purchases.
Have you ever said a word, any word about 10 times fast and by the seventh or so time the word sounds weird to you? Like you start to wonder if you're pronouncing it correctly, even though you've been saying it since you were three.
My friend Brian is on the phone and he's bitching me out:
Brian: I bet you're one of those people that only listens to the songs they like on a CD. That's not right. The band MEANT for you to hear the entire CD.
Me: I DO listen to the entire CD when I buy it. Then I only listen to the songs I like. Why should I put myself through the trauma of listening to songs I dislike. Just because I like a band doesn't mean I have to like their crappy ass "filler" songs.
Brian: Those aren't filler songs! You're the reason bands turn into one-hit wonders.
Me: No, I'm the reason those one-hit wonders are weeded out. Think of it as community service.
You know what's fun? Family. Most especially, little sisters. George's little sister Net was telling me last weekend that she used to hate his ex-girlfriend so much that when she would come over, Net would answer the door then leave her standing outside without even telling George she was there. So then George would come into the room later and say "Did you know she was outside?" And Net would be like "Yeah. So?" My little sister Leah was like that. She was like the "Riss Nazi" -- my friends would show up at the door, she'd slam it in their faces and twenty minutes later I'd go outside to have a smoke and there would be 10 of my friends standing around in the yard.
Last thought: Legolas in Lord of The Rings was the man!! And not just because the guy that played him was hot (in that fruity kind of way). When they showed him for the first time climbing off his horse George turns to me and says "Now you KNOW that's a bad ass motherfucker. Anyone who carries just a bow and arrow..."