My Newest Vow, My Blog, Men With Bubblebutts, Foosball and The Verboten
I have decided to take a vacation from alcohol. My friends who are still reeling from the shock of that statement understand what a big undertaking this is. This is like a nympho swearing off sex or a nun swearing off God. I was so fucking drunk last night that George had to fill me in on my idiotic drunken antics because I woke up completely blanked out on anything that happened the night before. I don't know how I possibly had 5 Ketel/Cran/Oranges last night at this bar... then went home and decided that drinking the equivalent of 5 more drinks was a good idea. I threw up so much this morning I saw food I ate three weeks ago. Even now I have that "adrenaline running through your veins" feeling. I'm not even going to describe the events of last night, if you really want to know just call me up on my cell. It's pretty hysterical. I believe the one thing I remembered on my own was that I stuck my hand in the fish tank and tried to pet the piranhas... not one of my brightest ideas.
One of my friends just told me that he didn't like reading my weblog because the writing style didn't seem like it was legitimately an extension of me. Now I'm totally confused. I always thought the convoluted jumble of words (touched with a hint of acerbic humor) that is my weblog, was very much me. I know my weblog isn't very readable but its purpose was to give me an outlet for all the crap that goes on in my head. And the inside of my head is fairly complicated. But this is a person who talks to me all the time so I can't just discount his opinion as someone who doesn't really know me. I always write straight from my mind to the keyboard, so I thought that when I wrote it was as if I was actually speaking out loud. I'm not tripping that he dislikes my writing style, that's all subjective. And I know I'm a very wordy writer. What bothers me is that he doesn't think it's ME while I think it's completely me... and he's one of my closest friends. I actually value his opinion, and you all know that normally I could give a shit. I don't know.
I always figured that a lot of my stories are actually pretty normal, but that the way I depicted the events made it different. I mean, if I cut out all the crap that I throw in, my stories would be relegated to "I was really drunk and I threw up." "George was drunk and he threw up." "We were drunk and we threw up." Heehee. Incidentally, I figured out today that my weblog actually saves me money. Ever since I started blogging I haven't been on Ebay <------ The seventh layer of hell.
There's this guy at my work whose ass bothers me. It's so high!! He's not that much taller than me but it looks like his ass is on level with my chest. It's irksome. Men's asses shouldn't look like that. How can you consider someone in a heterosexual manner with an ass like that??
You ever notice how people throw around foreign phrases because it's tres chic? I think it's kind of pretentious to use foreign phrases if you don't speak or have never studied the language. Like I sometimes toss French, Latin or Tagalog phrases around but not a whole lot. But I may be willing to jump on the trendy foreign phrase bandwagon in exchange for the right to use the word "verboten" which I keep seeing in my trashy romance novels. "As he feasted on the dusky areolas of her succulent breasts, she shivered with the excitement of their verboten encounter." Just kidding, that's not how they use it. But I know it's what you people were thinking. Dirty-minded individuals!!! Why are foreign phrases that average people use always French, Spanish, German or Italian? My dream is that one day white people will be sitting around some cafe and one of them will say "He should just come out and say he is bakla instead of hiding it behind a facade of machismo." And the other white people at the table will nod knowingly because they completely understood. Incidentally, "bakla" is the Tagalog word for gay.
I just played foosball with my friend Jim from work on this foosball game the size of a hamster and I cheated. Can you really get any lower than that??