April 22, 2002

Cyborgs and other Mundane Monday Thoughts

Cyborgs and other Mundane Monday Thoughts

Ambiance: The Whole World by Outkast. I love this song because for some reason it reminds me of the Oompa Loompa song from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

So according to this website, if I were a cyborg I would be:

It would be pretty interesting to be a cyborg wouldn't it? I used to love this comic book by Image called Cyberforce about cyber-genetically enhanced mutants. I swear no one else I knew liked this comic, but I had every one of them and I used to re-read them. Cyblade and Ballistic were my favorite characters. Cyblade (which Marc Silvestri bit off Psylocke from the X-Men) was bangin' and Ballistic was just plain bad ass. One thing that cracks me up about comic books are how enormous the women's breasts are. Comic books are so obviously drawn by men because there's no way a woman with size 34FF breasts can dodge bullets then fight cyborgs all day long without having to ice them down every night. In addition there's the whole efficiency factor. If you were a woman and you were drawing a woman who could assassinate people with the best of them AND beat the shit out of guys all day long, you'd draw someone who looks like Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2. You wouldn't draw Pamela Anderson or Anna Nicole Smith because they wouldn't be as agile. But then again if you didn't draw women that looked like them would 12-year-old boys be so willing to plunk down their hard-earned newspaper route money? I think not. So it makes sense but it's still funny. I remember Ben drew me a few times in college but he made my breasts like 32 DDs. I was like "Uh Ben... where did those come from? Those aren't mine." Creative liberties I suppose. That's okay though because Ben is disgustingly talented. Like his fingernails have more talent than me.

So Mike is color-blind and like most heterosexual males with the exception of Kwame, Geo and Manny, has trouble dressing himself. I remember one time, Mike went to The Men's Wearhouse and they picked out a whole bunch of ties and shirts for him. But they all got mixed up in the same bag so he calls me in a panic because he doesn't know what matches what. I literally went to his house, grabbed a permanent marker and labeled each shirt 1-5 on the inside tag. Then I grabbed the ties and wrote shit like "1,3" or "1,2" so he would know which ties can be worn with which shirts. Priceless. Anyway my point is, once every couple years or so Mike will give me a $1000 limit and free reign over his wardrobe. So on Friday we went shopping and I spent $400 of his money and picked out 3 ties, 5 dress shirts, 2 pairs of khaki slacks and 3 (pricey yet awesome) V-neck woven shirts. I myself got a slammin' rose-colored strapless dress and a halter top out of it. I guess that was my fee, woo-hoo!!

Me, Net, Geo, Mike C, Manny and Janelle went drunken karaoking on Saturday night. Correction: Net and I went karaoking, the others sat there and drank. I was pretty gone by the time we got up there. I had to ask the hostess what songs we put in for. Afterwards we went to the biker bar to see the band downstairs play but the bar was SANS BIKERS!! In fact, it was sans anyone. We were pretty much the only people in there other than the band's other friends. I think this was mainly because the bar was in North Bergen, New Jersey and who the hell goes to North Bergen, New Jersey to drink? Apparently, we do. It was fun though, I actually prefer bars that aren't crowded. I hate pushing through drunken bastards who can't even walk straight much less carry their drinks without spilling it on other people.