Coming With A Thunder

Coming With A Thunder

No, this post is not about sex you perverts. Wrong blog. This is the one my parents read. I know, some of you guys who have never seen me around my family are like "Your parents read this shit??" Other people who believe I just appeared one day in a cloud of evil are like "You have parents????" Don't worry, they have had 25 years to come to terms with the fact that their eldest child is weird. My Dad once told me that when I was 2 they lost me atop the World Trade Center observation deck briefly. A minute later they found me standing on the steps of a viewing station, singing some Filipino love song at the top of my lungs in front of a crowd of people. My Dad also told me that once when I was around 11 months, he was sleeping on the bed a few feet away from my crib and he saw me wake up. He didn't want to wake up yet so he pretended to be asleep, hoping I would also go back to sleep. A couple minutes later he felt something hit his pillow. He kept his eyes shut until he felt something hit his head. He opened his eyes and I was standing up in my crib, throwing my poop at him because he says I knew he was faking it. Hahahaha foul. See... it starts early. Don't piss me off or I'll throw my poop at you.

Anyway the title of this post refers to my blog posts, which for the past couple days have been coming with a thunder. Yes, I am THAT bored at work.

I was at Chili's last night watching the Nets whomp the Celtics. I had a few thoughts I'd like to share so as usual, I'll list them:

1. I really do get tense during the playoffs. I lost my appetite once the Nets got on court. Geo was happy about that, he got to eat the rest of my food.

2. Paul Pierce started whining a little too early in the game. He went to the line 6 times in the first 6 minutes of the game and he's complaining about calls?? Speaking of Paul Pierce, I was recounting a story to Lani about how I went to a Vancouver club once during the 1998 NBA Draft. Antoine Walker was there, hooking up with some chic that resembled a troll doll. She was also as wide as he was tall. Lani responded that she had heard Walker normally dates women far less attractive than him, because he has a complex about that. She said she thought Paul Pierce might also because she saw him up in Boston doing the same thing, picking up trolls. Maybe Pierce got stabbed because he tried to cross the bridge without paying the toll. Incidentally that was the same trip during which David Falk tried to talk to me in an elevator and after my one-word replies finally said, "Don't you know who I am??" I knew but I would have rather swallowed my own tongue than admit it so I was like, "No. Who are you?"

3. The NBA on NBC theme sometimes sticks in my head, but I like the Monday Night Football theme the best. I like to hum it while skipping sideways.

4. That new movie with Lil Bow Wow Like Mike falls into my list of "Movies I'm Ashamed To Admit I Want To See." In my defense I like Morris Chestnut. So there.

5. They re-ran highlights of Game 5 of the Western Conference Final and Mike Bibby is the motherfucking man. I bet Memphis is watching this series in disbelief. He took that last shot with no hesitation and it was all net.

6. Kobe is being interviewed on TV right now and he's wearing a Yankees jersey. I haven't used this word in awhile but it needs to be used. What a fucking poser. Okay fine Dale, no more Kobe-hating until Friday. What that's tomorrow?? Hooray!!

So anyway, our landlord just sold our apartment building (FUCKING TERRORIST PRICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry. I just found out this morning and am still feeling some residual agitation) and we have to be out by September 1st. Anyone know of any open 2 bedroom apartments anywhere?? I guess I really am going back to Cali. We'll see what the job front looks like. If there are more jobs here than in Los Angeles I might have to stick around until I can find a company willing to relocate me. What I really want to do is go back to school full-time which is a complete 180 from my attitude before I found out I was getting laid (off). Okay this topic is getting too serious for me. Who wants to talk about deer dicks?? Deer dick is the number one black market export of China. People believe it contains some sort of medicinal properties that combat erectile dysfunction. Then again this was the Pre-Viagra world. It's a whole new ballgame now.

Okay I'm hungry now. I might as well gear up for an hour's worth of torment since I'm not going to lunch until 1. Paul doesn't like to eat early. I think it makes the afternoon drag longer for him whereas I look at it as another 4 hours to blog on a full stomach. It does not help that the people next to me eat at like 11:30. AND they eat at their desks like good little employees and I have to smell it and droooooool.