May 8, 2002

Liquid Lunch

Liquid Lunch

Just came back from lunch with Paul and Erik, we ate at Markers in the Harborside Financial Center. Let me just say that their "Potato Encrusted Salmon" is the fucking bomb. Paul is convinced that the two drinks I "sucked down" are going to affect me but you all know I ain't goin out like that. In retrospect a few shots of Black Haus might have brightened the day up a bit. Not that I'm having a bad day, even though it started out with a hangover. You know you drank too much the night before when you wake up in your underwear with one shoe on. Just kidding. No really, I'm kidding!!

Ant is disappointed that I'm not blogging buzzed. I have imposed a restriction on myself in respect to that rather fun hobby. I decided I'm too mean when I blog under the influence because I have a tendency to write things without passing them through the conscience filter. Geo told me the other day that when I was bitching at him last week I used the phrase "What do you want, a fucking cookie?" Which leads me to believe that it's only by the grace of God that I have any friends at all. Paul once said I was a mean person, and he's one of my closest friends.

We went to see my friend Rob's new band Blow Up play at The Junkyard last night. It took awhile for the band to come on and Geo was tired so I told him we could go home if he wanted. He replied "I paid one dollar to get in. We're not goin' anywhere." Funny as hell. Prior to the bar we hit up Garden State Plaza and went looking for T-shirts. My favorites were:

"Don't let your mind wander... it's too little to be outside by itself"
"I throw peanuts at old ladies"
"Can't sleep....clowns will eat me."

The best though was the T-shirt I got Paul for Christmas. It has a picture of a hand on it with a little plastic monkey in its palm and says "Won't you please spank my monkey? He's been very bad."

I just read Dawn's blog and she said she had quite a shit-talking session last night. So did I actually. I got drunk last night and went off on all of you. "Yeah I said it!! It had to BE said." But you all know I love you very much and if you were going into battle I'd be right there with my Kalashnikov AK-47 (I know there are more modern guns but yo, this shit can penetrate steel. Crazy.) I'm just fucking around anyway. I didn't talk smack about that many of you, only the triflin ones. You know who you all are!!

One of my friends at work (who gets pretty cranky sometimes) digs this chick at work who is equally snooty (you know the type, only talks to girls and acts super dumb in front of guys so they will feel big and strong). I told him he should dump his girlfriend and marry this girl so they can be snotty together forever. He replied that only one good thing would come of that (alluding to sex) which I found completely laughable. So I replied "What...snotty, ill-mannered children??" He hasn't responded yet. I know I shouldn't say some shit but I CAN'T HELP MYSELF!! It's like a drug!! It's good I don't do drugs or anything cuz if I did I'd be snortin' through the benjamins. Seriously. Again, I don't know how I still have any friends left. You guys are the bomb.

Quote of the Day: "They're only immortal to you guys." Tim Duncan, to reporters regarding the Lakers. I hate the fucking Lakers.

I'm sleepy as hell and thinking about skipping out on tonight's festivities and heading straight for my baby blue bed. The Spaniards and the Italians have it right. We need to implement the "Siesta" into the American culture. I don't mind working a bit later if I get to take a three-hour nap in the middle of the day. How awesome would it be to be hanging out at 2 in the afternoon on a Tuesday with a chilled glass of sangria and some tango music in the background? Wait. Never mind I do that anyway.

I'm still blogging but motherfuckers keep distracting me.