Live From Jersey City

Live From Jersey City

Ambiance: "Por Una Cabeza" from the Scent of a Woman soundtrack

FIRST AND FOREMOST: Congratulations to Kesha and Kwame on their recent engagement. Hooray!! You're both lucky ass people. Usually one member of the relationship is bad ass and the other is triflin. It's rare to have two awesome people in the same relationship!! *MWAH* But it's me talking so you know I gotta say it...another two bite the dust.

Paul just gave me his copy of Black Hawk Down to read and I must say that I'm looking forward to it. The last 4 books that I've read have been about serial killers so I could use a "feel good" book to read. At least I heard it was a "feel good" book but I think it's one of those books that only makes you feel good in the end. Prior to that, 837 characters you like die in helicopter crashes and military explosions. I want to sit here and read it at my desk but everyone else is busy trying to look as if they have so much to do they're about to crumble under the pressure. Don't you just love Corporate America Bullshit. We all have some non-timely work to do but no one is so busy that they don't have time to spare, so why are they all frontin. We're all getting laid off anyway and no amount of faking your workload is going to change that. Just do the shit you need to get done and stop all the pretension.

Damn yo, the chicks at my work are brutal. So much back-biting. I would LOVE to see the object of their shit-talk walk up to them and knock them out. I personally don't have a problem with them but if you talk that much shit you deserve to get hit. Like everyone knows I call a spade a spade but I never say anything behind someone's back that I wouldn't or haven't said to their face. Usually the latter. And everyone knows that when me and my friends talk shit it's because whatever we're talking about is funny as hell. Here they talk so much shit but when that person walks up it's all sunshine and giggles. Makes me want to puke. Why do chicks have to hate on each other like that?? Oh well, it was probably worse at the NBA. Best part is not only are these chics not even all that, they're also not very nice people and the person they're talking about IS. Triflin. Lani is having NBA-nightmare flashbacks right about now. Women at the NBA would hate on Lani all-the-live-long-day, like she was the Devil in Heidi braids.

I just went on a smoke break with my crew and one of the guys Mike G was talking about how when he watches pornos sometimes he "accidentally" will look at a guy's balls and think to himself "Thank God those aren't mine." Comedy. I love how women look at other women in magazines and porn and think shit like "I wouldn't mind having her body" and men think shit like "I'm glad I don't have his knees." But that's all societal crap because they did some study once (I read it in the "Book Of Useless Studies" that I always seem to be quoting) and when women try on a pair of their pants that are too tight they automatically think they've gained weight while men who do the same thing think their pants shrunk in the wash.

Some of the guys at work have the (I'm sure popular) tradition of keeping a verbal list of the 5 girls they would bang at my company. I'm a little jealous because they have more to work with than I would if I were to compile a similar list of men. My list would be like "That guy I sometimes see on the 10th floor who looks like he would be aight if he brushed his hair" or "That one guy in Customer Support that limps" or some shit. In case the panties are bunching as they read, the guys I know at my company don't count cuz they're all cute. Whew... *wipe sweat off brow*

It's 4:18 and I've found that as the day winds down I often get a bit cranky. Why is that? It doesn't make any sense. You'd think the prospect of going home would improve my mood but instead I get bogged down by the interminable chore of clock-watching. My friend John Z called today and he's super sick, which makes me feel like it's inevitable that I'm going to catch a spring/summer cold. I hate that. I'm never sick when it's cold and miserable outside, only when it's warm and sunny and the butterflies are outside playing with the fucking hummingbirds.

Message Board Post of the Day (From the ever-quotable Dale):

"ive pretty much somewhat almost theoretically broken down my way of scoping out chicks into 2 short steps:

first it's the face. most important.

then i kick into phase two. which me and my friends call A.U.H.D. this is my absolute fav. it stands for Ass Up Head Down...if i can picture the girl in this position and if the proportions are right....its ON....."

Quote of the Day: "I don't think that we executed down the stretch. We couldn't make shots and they could. I think that was a key to this game..."
--- Chris Webber, Sacramento Kings.

You think????????