June 29, 2002

Happy Birthday Mike J!!

Happy Birthday Mike J!!!

I won't tell you how old he is because none of us can count that high. Not enough fingers and toes, or even hairs for that matter. I threw a last-minute surprise birthday dinner for him at Apple By NYU. That's not what it's really called but no one ever knows what it's really called so that's what we always say. Some people call it "The Apple" and some people call it "Apple Bar" while others call it "Apple Restaurant" -- none of which is listed in 411. You have to tell them to find some dining establishment with the word "Apple" in it on Waverly. Coincidentally three different groups of my friends were there at the same time. Well maybe not so coincidentally since Apple is a Vietnamese restaurant and you know how we Asians gravitate towards places that serve some type of Asian food and have an abundance of alcohol.

Anyway, Mike has been really easy to shop for ever since he became a firefighter. I got him this really cool box frame with reproductions of firefighting equipment in it (complete with a little Dalmation) and a framed poster of the Pulitzer-Prize-winning Bergen Record photo of the firemen putting up the American flag at Ground Zero.

I was playing Pusoy Dos with Tony, Mike Jimenez and Mike's friend Gil when some drunken Chinese guy came up and started berating us for not playing Cho Dai Di (is that how you spell that shit??) It was Tony's throw but he was lagging cuz the guy was talking to him and he didn't want to be rude.

Me: "Yo Tony, what are you putting down?????"
Drunken Chinese Guy: *look of deep coincidence* "Your name is Tony too?? Wow... Meet another Tony."
Me: "That's fucking beautiful. Can we play already??"

I just missed Justice League cuz I was watching Eminem's video for "Without Me" for the jillionth time since I downloaded it yesterday. At least it wasn't because I was cleaning the house like last time. That made me feel dumb as hell. The one thing I look forward to on Saturdays and I miss it because my dumb ass is cleaning of all things. Then again, it's not exactly the smartest thing to miss it because I was watching something I have on my hard drive (and can therefore watch anytime) either. Oooh, Sponge Bob is on. I already saw this one though, it's the one where they go catch jellyfish. I hate jellyfish by the way. They know it too. It's like everytime I step into water they sound out an All Jellyfish Alert and the nearest one in the vicinity hightails it over to me, top speed.

One time Dennis and I were at some random beach in Long Island taking engagement pictures and the photographer told me to get in the water. I glanced at it uncertainly and asked her if there were any jellyfish in there. She says she's never in the hundreds of shoots she's ever done there seen one. Three seconds after I step into the water, a jellyfish comes jellyfishing on over to me and I freak and run out of the water. I don't know what it is about them that I hate so much. I just think they're so gross. Like big boogers that pulsate and sting. Okay, a mouse just ran over my slipper. It was cute though, it was about the size of a quarter. Hold up, I'm going to go get it some crackers. Of course if my puppy comes over before the mouse is done nibbling on the crackers, Bailey might start nibbling on him. Which would be pretty gross because then I'm sure Bailey would lick my arm afterwards or something and then I'd have little pieces of mouse sticking to me. Gross.

Anyway I'm sure some of you are wondering why I'm sitting home on a Saturday, watching mice eat crackers on my living room floor. It's because I'm waiting for Tony's parents to get home so we can go to his aunt and uncle's house in Long Island. They have a pool AND a tennis court. They also have a basketball hoop to shoot on. The house is like their own personal country club. If I had my own tennis court and pool I'd never leave the house. Not even to pick up food. Okay my landlord just had an attorney send us a notice to vacate the premises by August 31, even though we've already been told that like 80 times. Fucking prick. No gratitude whatsoever for the fact that my overpriced rent has funded his drug plantation for over a year.