August 21, 2002


I just bought Aerosmith tickets for their concert at Jones Beach, woo-hoo!!! I wasn't going to get them even though people told me to, because I felt bad about the expense. But then during our Hobson's music discussion, Louis said "If you don't go to the concert and they don't tour again, you'll regret it for the rest of your life." Magic words. The threat of regretting something for the rest of my life works really well on me, which is probably why I get into so many situations I shouldn't get into. I hate the idea of regret. It's the worst thing in the entire world. That's why I try not to regret anything. What a waste of time it is. There's nothing you can do to change it, so why trip on it so hard? Unfortunately that's easier said than done so as a result, I try to minimize the possibility. That being said..... I'm going to see Aerosmith, WOO-HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've been wanting to see them in concert for 13 years. Jesus Almighty Christ. By the way, St. Peter's going to have a field day with me when I attempt to get into Heaven (yes, I'm going to try... everyone knows I have the audacity of a 5-year-old). I've been on this blasphemy kick lately. I can't seem to stop spouting religious epithets. On any given day you might hear "Jesus Almighty Christ" or "Holy Mother of God" or "For the love of God..." or "Jesus Holy Mary Mother of Joseph of Aramathea My Lord In Heaven." Okay maybe not the last one. The point is, I've been blaspheming left and right for the last week. As if I really needed such trivial things added to my list of transgressions.

Okay as usual I digress, so back to Aerosmith. I had originally tried to buy tickets at PNC Center but it was sold out. So was the show in Camden. Who the hell in Camden is going to see Aerosmith? I've been to Camden a few times and um, yeah. Let's just say its demographic didn't match the typical Aerosmith fan. I can just picture all the angry young black men banging their heads to "Sweet Emotion." So at this EXACT time next week (9:00 p.m. on a Wednesday) I'll be watching Steven Tyler strut his 60-year-old ass up and down the stage with more energy than I can muster after ten Metrix bars coated with crack.

Kwame and I were just on the phone, reiterating our hatred for porn pop up ads. We both hate the fact that closing out of them opens up 90 more porn windows. I especially hate the fact that even though I own one of the fastest computers available to consumers and I have a cable modem, there's still like this 5-second delay when I'm finally able to close the damn pop-up window. Kwame especially hates the fact that when he closes it, he gets some message that says "Are you absolutely certain you don't want to see ALL THIS PORN??????" It's especially annoying because it's not like porn on the internet is hard to find. They really don't need to keep offering it. I have never in my life ever heard anyone say "Dammit, WHERE is the porn??? I can't find ANY PORN on this darn internet thing!! I've looked everywhere!!!!!"

My Quote of the Day: "Bailey!!!!!!!!! Jesus goddamn Christ, are you ASKING for death?????" (Me to my dog, 5 seconds after he somehow climbed onto my table and licked a leaking bottle of perfumed oil, and 45 minutes after he ate 5 Hershey Kisses. Chocolate is fatal to dogs when consumed in large amounts. Screw cigarettes and liquor, this dog is going to give me a heart attack by the age of 27. Don't even ask me how he got to the chocolate, which was in my fucking suitcase, for God's sake. Now he's sleeping on top of my couch. No, not on the seat of my couch. On top of the back of it. Of course I would get a dog who's even weirder than I am. Why would I think that I would somehow have managed to pick out a normal dog at the shelter. Anyway we fought because I was scared as hell, but we made up because I serenaded him with "Crying" by Aerosmith. Okay fine... we made up because I gave him one of those bacon doggie treats. Spoiled little brat. Of course I would have a dog who was a spoiled brat. And some people don't believe in karma.

(From one of my e-mails today...)

Top 5 Songs To Play When You're Sailing In A Regatta

1. "Dreams" by The Cranberries
2. "Every Me, Every You" by Placebo
3. "Don't Worry Baby" by The Beach Boys
4. "Message In A Bottle" by The Police
5. Malcolm Maclaren's Leo Delibes cover, otherwise known as The British Airways Theme.

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