August 24, 2002


Ambiance: Mozart's Requiem Mass

I'm really bummed that I'm not an opera singer. I love opera. Mozart's Requiem Mass is one of my favorites. I love it so much I dropped quite a bit of money last year to see it in its entirety at the Lincoln Center. It was worth the money though. When I was young my parents used to take me to the Tchaikovsky Festival at the Hollywood Bowl during the summer. It always ended with the 1812 Overture and the USC marching band would come out and play the horns part at the end. Then they would have fireworks going off in beat with the music. I actually went again the last time I was in L.A. and they had the Pittsburgh Ballet dance some of the numbers from The Nutcracker. Geo and I liked them so much we went to go see their full production last Christmas in Pittsburgh.

I've been rebuilding my music collection on my new computer since Geo has to take MP3s off his laptop because they take up too much space. iMesh is awesome. I just downloaded over 60 songs in 20 minutes. I tried to do a search for some Phil Collins songs. Not a single one came up. Is Phil Collins uncool or something? I've downloaded like 100 songs already and I still have 76 gigabytes of free space left. Yes, I said GIGABYTES. I could download the inventory of Sam Goody into my computer and still have room left to download a hundred computer games. It's pretty disgusting in a thrilling kind of way to have so much free space. My old roommate would have had a field day with this computer. I had like a gigabyte of space on my last computer and he still managed to fit 3600 porn jpgs on it. Yes, I said THREE THOUSAND SIX HUNDRED porn jpgs. That wasn't a typo.

I am watching George mess around by dancing to "Causing A Commotion" but he actually looks good. Every so often Madonna has a dancer that is obviously heterosexual. George could be that dancer.

Geo: I had to fix the master cylinder.
Riss: Um... okay.
Geo: Do you know what that is?
Riss: The cylinder that gets to order around all the other cylinders?

Maybe I should re-think that whole "getting-a-job-as-a-mechanic" thing.

We went to the mall today and I saw this little 5-year-old boy in a stroller. I was like, um yeah... shouldn't he be walking by now? He barely even fit in it, his knees were dragging on the floor and shit. To make matters worse, he was holding a baby doll (one of those ones that pee and everything) complete with fake milk bottle. Yeah okay. That child has no shot at heterosexuality. Why don't they just pin the lavender bow on him already and sign him up for ballet lessons. I'm sure the Gay and Lesbian Alliance doesn't have an age limit. A few minutes later, I wandered through the costume jewelry section at JC Penney on my way to the restroom. Yeah, what a collection of crap. I've never seen so much crap in one place in my life. I saw a pin with "For Sale" written in rhinestones. Did I miss the press release JC Penney sent out announcing their new jewelry line aimed at prostitutes with a little extra pocket money? I mean if I saw that pin at that store Retail Slut in L.A. I wouldn't even blink twice. But at JC Penney? I thought that was a family store and everything, not somewhere hoes go for some "gear." All in all it was kind of an off day at the mall so we left with a quickness. Especially since George was super-irritated by (and I quote):

1. "People who go to the mall and smell bad."
2. "People who talk on their cell phones and block the way."
3. "People who don't know how to use escalators. It's like they stop at the top and look for the instruction manual."
4. "People who are so obese they bump into you because they don't fit in the really wide aisle. You wouldn't have to say excuse me if you weren't so fat."

Now he's flipping through the latest issue of Instyle magazine (which like a sheep I bought because Jennifer Aniston was on the cover) and making snide comments. For a picture of Calista Flockhart it was "Man, she better stop wearing those skimpy ass things. Or at least she should eat something." HAHAHA Oh my God... I should just put a webcam in our apartment. He's right though. Does anyone really believe that Calista Flockhart doesn't have an eating disorder? It's just not normal to be 5'5 and 80 lbs or whatever she is. I'd like to tie her to a chair and force-feed her mashed potatoes with southern-style gravy, fried chicken, buttered cornbread, corn-on-the-cob slathered with more butter, coleslaw, honeyed ham, collard greens, those fried onion things they serve in a loaf, country-fried steak, potato and egg salad, crab legs with more butter and some golden layer cake with chocolate frosting. Dammit. I just made myself hungry. And my stupid little frozen dinner isn't even going to begin to measure up to what I just put in my head.

Kwame suggested I do a Top 5 of movies that aren't that great but always manage to sidetrack me if it's on TV. So here it is:

Top 5 Mediocre Movies That Always Reel Me In For Some Reason

1. The Mighty Ducks
2. Sister Act
3. Sister Act 2
4. Loverboy (that movie where Patrick Dempsey plays a pizza guy who bangs bored housewives for college money)
5. Freddie Prinze Jr. Movies. I've seen She's All That like 800 times and I don't even like that movie.

Speaking of mediocre movies, I just watched America's Sweethearts which is the quintissential mediocre movie. John Cusack had the best line though after Billy Crystal told him Catherine Zeta Jones got her own cottage because she had an entourage:

"I'm a schizoprenic. I'm my own entourage."

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