The Blizzard and Thus... Lots of TV
So it snowed a fuckload these past few days. This is what it looked like outside...
That picture was taken in the middle of the blizzard too, so the snow was actually higher than that. Cars were buried in snow. One thing about being in Jersey City when it snows, it seems to bring out every idiot and his sister. My favorites are the:
a) Selfish, dumb ass motherfuckers who shovel the snow out from in front of their cars and toss it into the middle of the street so that passing cars get stuck. Is it that hard just to make a pile not in the middle of the street??
b) Adolescent kids who have snowball fights in the middle of intersections. These kids are the ones that grow into...
c) Idiots clearing the snow around their cars who stand in the middle of the street when taking a break from shoveling. Visibility already sucks, as does braking. Are they asking to get killed? Because there are train platforms for that. Much faster.
d) People who think that just because they're in an SUV they should go double the speed everyone else is going. Go ahead and kill yourself but have you ever thought that you might take innocent people with you?
e) People who don't shovel their sidewalks and salt them down. I busted my ass hard the other day when walking Bailey (Stop laughing you assholes. Don't even try to deny that you laughed. I know you giggled because I would giggle if I was one of my friends and I read that.)
All in all I'm not certain whatever possessed me to leave California. No one should ever have to deal with snow that high if they're not on a snowboard. George shoveled for 10 hours yesterday. That's right all you people in Cali who say shit like "Naaw maan we think being snowed in is cool" (Ben Lee) 10 FUCKING HOURS. He spent 4 hours shoveling our driveway, then 6 hours shoveling his parents' driveway. Today he was lucky, he only had to shovel for 6 hours. Yes, ONLY had to shovel for 6 (FUCKING) HOURS. I will admit however, that if I had one of those things that looks like an ATV with a mini-plow attached to the front I would probably wish for snow every winter. Those things look fun as hell.
I think I should apply for a job as Television Swamee. Did I spell that right? Joe Millionaire's finale aired last night. Let me immodestly point out my post on 2/9 that stated the "twist" in Joe Millionaire was that Fox was going to give him a million dollars if he got some girl to stay with his poor ass self. Incidentally, for those of you who have any idea what I'm talking about, Melissa and Sara only made themselves look like cheap gold-diggers by shit-talking Evan and Zora after Sara got dumped. If he was such a "loser" why did you both want him so bad? They pretty much admitted on national television that they were gold-digging whores. Sara is hot so she'll still be able to get dates but Melissa is so ugly (and is so high-maintenance) she'll have to make a concerted effort to target men who don't watch television, and who don't have any friends who watch television. Men are willing to bang a hot chic whether she's a gold-digger or not but no man is going to waste time on a chic who's ugly AND a gold-digger. By the way, Evan and Zora are a perfect couple if she can fall in love with him. He seems pretty dumb but she's so sweet she won't mind it. She'll never look at him after he's asked a question like "What language do they speak in England" and reply "Are you a fucking idiot???"
By the way, I thought Joe Millionaire accurately depicted the thought process that even the most basic of men employ when considering the women they date. Sara is that slutty ho with the slammin body you met at the bar. You take her drunken ass into the restroom and convince her to blow you, then jizz on her face and don't even offer her tissue. Zora is the woman who your mother, father, sisters, aunts, cousins, co-workers, dentist, the pastor at your church, your dry cleaner and all your female friends love. Your male friends might not be as impressed by your conquest of her as they would Sara and her body, but they still give you props because Zora is still bangworthy. Sara is the bride in that e-mail urban legend about the groom that tapes an 8X10 photo of his bride blowing the best man underneath every guest's chair at the reception. Zora is the woman who makes you homemade chicken soup when you're sick and chops the firewood at your cabin so that you don't miss Sportscenter. It seemed to me that even a complete idiot couldn't have fucked this choice up. I like to make fun of how dumb I think Evan is but he's pretty damn smart if he got some from Sara then didn't even choose her.
Moving on to 24... Can someone please tell me why Jack Bauer's idiot of a daughter is wearing a skimpy ass tank top with her tits hanging out in the remote woodsy cabin of a stranger with 5 rifles mounted on the wall?? And can the same person please explain to me how her existence pertains to the plot? I understand why she's on the show... Fox execs said themselves that her character's purpose was to add a T&A factor -- Kim Bauer was designed to appeal to horny young men so they would watch the show. But why why why can't the writers (who are obviously talented since they're writing one of the best series I've watched in recent years) find a use for her already?? It's like they're stalling for time and when it comes to them they'll tie her in and claim the first 12 shows were building the foundation for her role in the end blah blah. It's the only part of the show that is annoying to watch. The rest is pretty bad ass. By the way, let me just say that it's a shame Keifer Sutherland didn't win for Best Actor in a Drama Series at the Golden Globes because he totally deserves it. They should submit last week's "I hate you for making me do this" episode for Emmy contention. If Keifer doesn't win this year then the Emmy voters don't watch 24.
