The Apprentice: Episode Two

The Apprentice: Episode Two

1. Okay Ereka is really fucking annoying. She's like a Bon Jovi video reject. Ereka is The White Girl That Has Never Had Any NonWhite Friends Except Her Best Friend's Boyfriend's Roommate's Black Girlfriend From Westchester. Or she thinks she's "down" because she banged a Puerto Rican guy once. It annoys me that she rallies everyone around her when Omarosa pisses her off. I realize she does it because she wants to make sure someone will help her in case Omarosa ever catches her alone on the street. Donald Trump should make that the final challenge, Omarosa and Ereka in a cage match. Ereka getting her ass beat would make a choice season finale. By the way, what kind of godawful name spelling is Ereka? It's almost as bad as Jenaphur.

2. Why is it that half the women's team is dressed in Ultra Business Casual and the other half is dressed in Business Skanky? None of you own a button-down blouse and a pair of slacks that DOESN'T show any camel toe? Dressing down when you work at a dotcom filled with twenty-somethings is one thing. When you're trying to get hired to run a corporation, at least TRY to look professional.

3. They win a trip to Boston for the night? Isn't that like winning a trip to the proctologist?

4. I've never worked in advertising, I've always been on the corporate side as in having ad agencies pitch to us. That's probably why I thought the women's ideas were moronic. That's the best advertising campaign they could come up with for a jet corporation, i.e. one that caters to people who place some importance on class? Their photo shoot made me think it was for an ad in Super Street, with some 16-year-old car model draped across a lowered 92 Civic hatchback. It's one thing to use sex to sell a 3 dollar magazine or a glass of lemonade or a $14,000 car. I would think you really can't just plant a half-dressed woman on a jet and make people want to ride it (no pun intended). Then again maybe I'm giving men too much credit. I guess that's why I don't work in advertising though. But from my personal experience, ad agencies like the bizarre because it's eye-catching. Corporate people always SAY they want something "different" but they rarely select it in the final analysis. I really can't see a bunch of 50-something corporate suits saying "I think we'll go with the plane vagina ad."

5. The men's campaign was too generic. I think one of their biggest mistakes (besides not meeting with the "client") is that they thought about it too much. They tried to think of a campaign that would send an underlying message to a target consumer demographic. Yes, that's how it would normally work out if you were on retainer and had to do an actual ad campaign for a client that was planning to distribute it.

6. I think I'm one of 4 people in the country who isn't bothered by Omarosa. I like the fact that she doesn't care that the other girls dislike her because deep down inside they're scared of her. You know it's true. Ereka is just as bitchy but the other women love her because she's that fake "I'm your friend" type bitchy whereas Omarosa is that "I really don't give a fuck if you like me or not" type bitchy. Omarosa would beat your ass just to prove she can. Ereka would suck your boyfriend's dick and let him jizz on her face just to prove she can.

7. I think Omarosa made a big deal about the "pot calling the kettle black" comment because she was waiting for a moment to let Ereka know she thought Ereka was a racist and just pounced on the wrong opportunity. It's too soon really to tell either way, but my feeling is that it's not so much that Ereka is a racist, just that she has limited experience with nonwhite people in her everyday interactions. She's one of those white chics that lives in the most diverse city on the planet, but inadvertently chooses to live in a white bubble. They say hi to the Arab taxi driver, the spanish delivery guy, the Asian chic who does their bikini wax, the black guy who hit on them, but they don't actually have any nonwhite friends. I met about a jillion of them when I was working in New York.

8. Kwame is my horse that I'm rooting for, because so far he hasn't annoyed me. The guys are too vanilla for reality TV though. I think the casting director did that on purpose to provide a foil for the women. Which brings me to..

9. The flight attendant suit outfits almost rendered me speechless. Quote of the Episode: "You've set the women's movement back about 70 years" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA someone give that guy a reality TV Emmy. And the stupid bitches laughed. Why don't they just all get on their knees in a circle and give Donald Trump a group blowjob. Actually it would probably only be Heidi, Amy, Ereka and Tammy on their knees. Omarosa would be talking smack on the sidelines with a caustic running commentary ("And The Donald gifts Tammy with her very own personalized pearl necklace") and the nameless others would be sitting in a corner too moral to participate but too cowed to speak up.

I swear this show makes me sound like the worst misogynist. But flirting with the bartender for drinks is one thing. Slutting it all out to get a job is another.