Nothing Really

Nothing Really

Every so often I hit up message boards so I can watch "liberals" and "convervatives" tear into each other like lions fighting over a zebra carcass that's been rotting in the sun for 2 days. I must admit I tend to gravitate towards more liberal message boards, they're more fun. It's fun to see them get puffed up with self-righteous indignation, talking about the poor man and his plight, from their air-conditioned living rooms and cubicles. I just don't even talk about poor people. Screw them. I don't have any money either. Just kidding. About the screwing. We can't have too much screwing in the poor neighborhoods or James L. Hart (the guy who wants to keep "less favored races from reproducing") will get mad. I'm "conservative" oddly enough but I think most of my friends are "liberal." I never bothered to ask them really. I just assumed they were because my friends are all young Filipino, Asian, black and Mexican people. Plus some white people here and there thrown in for good luck. Oh and Aud is half Filipino and half Puerto-Rican, but I tell her she looks white. Her Native American name is "White Girl Who Fears." Her looks help keep the feds off her tail and her drug cartel running smoothly.

Oh to answer people who keep asking me who I'm going to vote for, that's still up in the air. I know my decision in November is going to be very difficult. "Hmmm... Who should I vote for... In Column A there's a rich white man who doesn't give a fuck about me and in Column B there's an even richer white man who doesn't give a fuck about me." Decisions decisions. Giuliani in 2008!!!!!!!!!!

So enough politics. Geo was channeling tonight and left the tv on some random station. When next we paid attention, it was sumo wrestlers versus racehorse jockeys at dodgeball. During one of the rounds, one of the female sumo wrestlers got hit and the announcer said "the jockey hit a target she's never seen before... her feet." Fucked up. But funny as hell. The sumo wrestlers got creamed. Too much mass to hit and slow footwork. The jockeys were like little elves on crack. They had strong arms too, I assume from reining in those stallions all the time. Hey taken out of context that sounded pretty nasty.

Okay if I eat one more Smartie I'm going to puke. We have a whole bunch of candy left over from the girls' party. I bought the Wonka variety bag because it had the least amount of choking hazards (easier to pick out before making the grab bags for the kids.) What a mistake. Now I sit around all day eating Nerds and Laffy Taffy and Sweet Tarts. I've ingested more sugar in the last week than I did in the entire year before it.

They just had a news segment on the dispute between city hall and the NY firefighters. I was getting a bit confused about the firefighters' salary and vacation complaints. Mike didn't you say that NYC firefighters make like 60 grand and only work 5 days a month? But then the reporter said that Mayor Bloomberg's spokesperson makes six figures a year. No wonder people are pissed. I'M pissed. But not for the same reason. I'm pissed I was a spokesperson and didn't have that job. That's kind of a rough position for city hall to take though. "We don't have any money to pay you people to willingly run into burning buildings, but let me pay this guy in the Armani suit 200 grand a year to say 'No Comment' and 'The mayor will hold a press conference later on at 2.'"

"Kobe's accuser" (anyone else tired of that phrase) just hit him with a big fat civil suit. Ouch. The laws are more relaxed in civil court than criminal court. Kobe might just have to hock that infamous, 4-million-dollar "Sorry-I-banged-another-broad-and-you-had-to-find-out-on-the-news" ring.

Okay, I'm wasting valuable "The girls are asleep" time on the computer, when I could be riding my exercise bike miserably to nowhere. Don't know which book will make the hazardous journey with me, possibly Lamb again. I'm really feeling Christopher Moore. Tomorrow we're hitting up Barnes and Noble so I get to pick up a couple more of his books. I was thinking of Bloodsucking Fiends. You know me and vampires. Rrrrrrawr.