The Apprentice: Episode 3

The Apprentice: Episode 3

Honestly, I thought this episode sucked. As in BLEW. As in if it worked in the porn industry, it would be a fluffer, sucking dicks twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. On a scale of one to ten, with ten being a great show to watch and one being re-runs of Still The Beaver, it was a two and a half.

1. There is no way in hell either of those events were thrown together with a $50,000 budget. NO WAY. I worked in public relations remember. I supervised the budget and organization of an event like that a couple years ago. Our budget was $100,000 and that didn't even count the fee we had to pay the PR Agency that thought up the idea. We researched a whole slew of celebrities to make an appearance at the event for (max) two hours. We had a $25,000 budget slotted for the celebrity spokesperson and the only person in our price range was Gary Carter (a really great guy by the way.) Yet The Apprentice wants me to believe that Mike Piazza would come brush his teeth in the street for half an hour, plus autographs, for HALF that price. Yeah right. For our event his people quoted like $60,000. And what, did the PR Agency that organized his appearance waive their normally mercenary fee?

2. I thought the women's idea was more creative but the men's idea was more pragmatic. I like winning money. You like winning money. Everyone likes winning money.

3. The project leader for the women should have gotten her incompetent ass fired. You're telling me that she didn't check until they were walking into the boardroom, whether or not they were under budget? Knowing how important it was that they not go over 50K she didn't stop to think it might be a good idea to ask earlier? She might have been able to dispute the cost with the printers or come up with a better excuse than "Oh I didn't know about it until 5 minutes ago so it's not my fault."

4. On that same note, the Lesbian Hair Chic was kind of at fault but not as much as the PM and the dildo. Yes, she spoke to the printers. Yes, she should have made absolutely certain that the price was what she thought it should be. But Ivana the Dildo was on that conference call too and SHE was in charge of the budget that they went over. That girl has like nine lives. She fucked up last week and she fucked up this week but she's still there. On a side note, I laughed my ass off when Lesbian Hair Chic went running up the stairs to get the rest of the women. She smelled blood in the water and knew she could save herself by throwing Stacie J in, even though Stacie J hadn't done anything wrong in the task.

5. The show did a pretty bad job of illustrating why everyone hates Stacie J. Yes, she went psycho in episode one. But since then there's been nothing. Last week, Ivana the Dildo kept saying that the reason she wasn't able to lead well was because she kept "putting out Stacie J's fires." This week she said it again. Where were those fires? I want to see those fires. Otherwise, we're left thinking that Ivana is a complete dildo and that the reason she wasn't able to lead well is because her pansy ass self is indecisive and weak. I wasn't a big fan of Stacie J but I thought it was completely lame how the boardroom went down. They just went off topic completely. Who cares if she's bipolar or not. The bottom line is that the project manager sucked and so did the person she appointed to handle the budget. The one time they showed Stacie J during the whole episode was when she had to pick up the toothpaste. They show her tripping out over how many boxes there were, they show the Ugly Bangs Chic complaining about her, then that's it. They show the boxes at the event. So obviously she completed her task without causing "a fire."

You know what, it's good that Stacie J got booted. Because if I heard Ivana the Dildo say the phrase "putting out her fires" one more time I might have had to jump into the television and hit her in the back of the head with a shovel. Damn I love that phrase. Andy still rocks by the way.

6. Other Stacy is kind of annoying. Of course she was "scared of" Bipolar Stacie. She's like 12 fucking years old. There are monsters under her bed and the Boogeyman is in her closet.

7. The thing that had Geo laughing was all the "fear." He was like "What's wrong with these bitches?" I sincerely hope they were just bullshitting in order to get Stacie J fired. Otherwise they're not fit to run a hot dog cart much less an actual corporation. Speaking of which, I need to do some research and see what people are saying about what it's like to work for Bill. I didn't think he was impressive in season one as much as he was low-key. Oh and a tall, attractive, white male.

I have more thoughts but my eye is itchy and I can't think when my eye is itchy.