In The News

In The News

I am really really reaching for something to say today. I have no idea why but my mind is all over the place. So I guess I'll just jump around and scan the news and see if I can find anything to discuss. Be right back.

Okay, here's what I found:

Shaq talks smack about Kobe on his new rap album. Okay that's just plain funny. Can I talk smack about Kobe now? I mean I stopped making fun of him for a little bit but now that it looks like he's just going to be shelling out millions instead of tossing salads with jelly or syrup, I think he's fair game again. In fact... where is my favorite gif... if I can find it. It *has* been a while. And by the way, why the hell is Shaq making more albums? Religious fanatics need to be answering that question. If there IS a God, why the hell must innocents be subjected to such mental cruelty??

Oh my God!!! I have Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)!!! Read the article! It's me. I am diagnosing myself. Someone medicate me or something:

Difficulties with paying bills on time (check)
Inability to keep checkbook balanced (check)
Lose things all the time (check)
When not busy, loses focus (check)
Has difficulty carrying on a conversation without interrupting (check)

Given to lightning changes of top--

Hey!! Mr. Softee is coming down the street!!! No, "Mr. Softee" is not some perverted nickname (for some guy who would probably end up killing himself.) It's the ice cream truck! But my wallet is all the way on the other side of the house. Dammit. He likes to make me run down the block too. You have to be decisive and have lightning quick reflexes to catch Mr. Softee. No less than 20 seconds should pass from the time you hear the song to the time you open your door, cash in hand and run out.

Okay, what else is in the news today...

They want to put an NFL team in L.A. again. You know what the answer is to the riddle of why an NFL team has never succeeded in Los Angeles? It's because L.A. people are too gay to appreciate a real sports team. Think I'm kidding? Look at the team they worship... the Los Angeles Lakers. Vomit. And yet they treated the Raiders like crap. Screw you guys!! You don't deserve an NFL team. I'm allowed to make fun of L.A. I grew up there. The guys all have bleached blond hair and frequent passes to Jamba Juice. It just isn't natural. Except the gangbangers of course. No self-respecting gangbanger is going to be seen buying a Mango-A-Go-Go.

The jury's still out over whether or not I want to pick up DC's Identity Crisis comic books. I didn't even do that well with The Death of Superman or that one comic when an aging Batman had to deal with the psychos at Arkham Asylum. I like my superheroes invincible and strong. If I wanted to read the kind of storyline they have in this comic I'd just pick up the newspaper. I am curious about it though which keeps pushing me towards the store.

The Cassini space craft found another ring around Saturn. This isn't really important to me but I take any and every opportunity to use the phrase "rings of Saturn." You know, for Audrey's sake.

Okay I'm really glad I don't live in the South. Because soul food is pretty damn good. Like REALLY good. Like if-I-eat-another-bite-these-collard-greens-are-coming-back-out good. Like I-would-be-fat-as-hell good. Although I don't know about drinking Dom Perignon and eating soul food. Kind of like how I don't like to drink beer with dinner. Or drink red wine while eating a chili dog.

Okay enough reaching. I'll try and be more creative after I fix up Aud's resume.