Apprentice: Episode 8

The Apprentice: Episode 8

Just a couple notes from last week:

This sentence annoyed the crap out of me: "The last thing dogs want to know is that they're helping cats." That's got to be the stupidest statement I've heard in the past month. Yes Donald, dogs will not want to be bathed by these specific people because they don't want the proceeds to go to a cat shelter.

Thank God they finally fired Annoying Midget Chic. This was the best episode ever. The entire episode was boring as hell except the last two minutes, but it still was the best episode ever. The look on Annoying Midget Chic's face after she got fired was priceless, as was the way she begged Trump to give her the chance to lead a team. Nope, not gonna happen.

Anyway on to this week's show...

As usual, I'm going to type and watch at the same time. Everyone thinks Andy got fired last week apparently. You pretentious dildoes. I hope this 22-year-old kid kicks all your asses up and down the boardroom.

The task this week is that they have to do an "emotional" commercial for police to get new recruits. The head of the ad agency wants it to touch the heart. Apex however, apparently didn't hear what their client wanted at all. They want to do a full on military theme. Great. Good luck with that one. One thing that was funny though was that Raj said in order to get good action shots he was going to "run towards the police compound yelling yayayayaya." HAHAHAHA funny as hell. Uptight Blond Chick thought it was the "rudest thing" she'd ever heard though. She should come over. I've got things to say that are even ruder. She's right though about the direction their group taking being all wrong. She just needs to step up and take control. They're railroading her and she has the right idea.

As usual, Ivana is a complete dildo. A quieter dildo this week, but a dildo nonetheless. I'm just going to refer to her from now on as The Dildo.

Lesbian Hair Chick is really harping on Apex's emotional commercial needing to be more "sexy." I don't understand why a police commercial would need overt sex appeal
and by the way, what in the hell would Lesbian Hair Chick know about sex appeal? She has about as much sex appeal as a root canal.

Oh my God, Uptight Blond Chick is a really bad leader. It's not that she was flip-flopping on issues, it's that she's weak. People were disagreeing with her so she backed off her stance. Then when they were gone, she climbed back on it. But then when faced with them again, their forcefulness backed her down again. There's no way in hell she'd ever be a good CEO if she can't have a stronger backbone. People will walk all over her, the way her team members are walking all over her right now. Her "insubordinate" Kevin just told her to shut up like it was nobody's business. She didn't even get a word in edgewise in that whole conversation in the hallway.

Kelly the Closet Gay Guy is being such a self-important ass. Someone should hit him in the head with a shovel. That same person should also forcibly drag him to the DMV and get him to change his name. Yay for whoever just defended Andy "He was the national debate champion. I think he can speak."

Apex's "front line" ad was awful. I mean really bad. What were they trying to do, scare people into joining the police force? They could have just used footage of suicide bombers in the middle east and CGI-ed them into Times Square. Andy's commercial rocked, he did a great job and you know that was all him. His teammates argued with him, he shut them up and did things the way he thought was right based on what the client asked for and he kicked ass. Ooohhh this board room is going to be good. And WOO-HOO... Andy is exempt next week. YAY!!!!

Someone needs to get Uptight Blond Chick a dictionary. "Unclarity" is not a word. Hey, when you watch Apex's ad for the second time, it flashes "New York's Finest" then "Looking for new blah blah" one after another and for a moment it said "New York's Finest Looking." I take back what I said about Jennifer whoever a couple weeks back. At the time I said she might be the least annoying female on the show. I take that back because it's misleading. There is no least annoying female on the show, they're all just annoying as all hell. Where's that shovel.

"What the hell's missing with you Elizabeth?"
The answer is "A spine."

Oh wow, no Donald didn't just tell Uptight Blond Chick that it wasn't necessary to bring anyone into the boardroom. He just straight up fired her on the spot in front of everyone. To be completely fair, if her teammates had followed her ideas they would have given Mosaic a run for their money. But you can't be a leader and back down from your team on every single point. I think so far she's been the worst leader in the history of the show. The other ones who have been fired may not have been right on the money but at least they TRIED to enforce their own ideas. You could bang Uptight Blond Chic's man right in front of her and all she would say is "Um... wait... oh...okay... fine. But I still think you should use a condom."