The Apprentice: Episode Six

The Apprentice: Episode Six

1. When Adolescent Midget Chic was telling everyone about her Enron comment as if it was some super ultra witty line it gave me flashbacks to my time working in New York. At least once a day, some person would be telling me a story with an idiotic punchline and I'd have to give a fake laugh or muster up the effort to come up with some congratulatory-type response that didn't sound too sarcastic. Like "Oh man, that's funny as hell" instead of what I was really thinking. That's one reason I will never miss corporate life. I understand adults don't get to say what they're thinking all of a time, but just once every other week or so I would have liked to been able to say what I was really thinking without suffering any workplace repercussions. "I waited three minutes and 46 seconds for the fucking conclusion of your idiotic story and your punchline is 'If you want another Enron Mr. Trump then Pamela is your girl?' Get the fuck out of here before I go buy a shovel and hit you in the head with it."

2. No fair that the Apprentice producers specifically tried to set the men up for a fall by having them design WOMEN'S clothing. That's like trying to get women to direct porn. "Okay Tara, put your clothes on and reach over there and hug Jenna for a few minutes. Stroke her hair and nuzzle her ear and tell her how beautiful she is. That's what men really want to see."

3. "We need to be harder core." Is that your professional opinion?

4. Okay you go Kelly, design that women's clothing line yourself. He says he just pulled those designs out of his ass but I don't know. They looked pretty good. I think he might have more than a few lilac pieces of clothing in his closet. Then again his name is Kelly.

5. What was up with Raj acting like the Village Idiot? When Kelly finally stepped up to regulate I was like "Finally!!". Don't tell me that wasn't a big deal. The harried designer even spit out a frustrated "This guy keeps asking me stupid questions." Kelly nailed it on the head when he said Raj was hindering the one person in the room who actually had the most important job and was on a deadline. And what the hell was up with those bolts of fabric Raj kept trying to push? Could they have been any uglier? It's like he specifically went in there to try and pick the ugliest bolts of fabric he could find. Raj's quirkiness never irritated me before but in this episode he started to grate. Has he looked in the mirror? He should have sat himself down in the corner for this entire task and volunteered for the "manual labor" busywork.

6. The women's first outfit was ugly. The suit outfit was boring. The backless part of the dress was nice, but the fabric looked like drapes in a retirement home. Pretty much everything was ugly or boring except the deep red tank top. I expected more from the women, especially since their project manager Lesbian Hair Chic was rocking a pretty classy outfit (even if it was in UPS Brown.) The men's first two outfits were ugly, but I'm just not a fan of those cape/poncho things that are in style right now. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that ponchos are about as fashionably attractive as flourescent clothing. But their outfits got better after that. The red blouse was nice, those sleeves were weird but interesting. The mermaid skirt wasn't anything my 5-3 self could ever pulled off but it would look hot on someone taller. Especially if they matched it with a bra made of seashells (just kidding.) I would have matched it with a satin tank in a paler blue color, with a deep neckline. The pale pink tank blouse was hot, I'd definitely rock it. I must say I was surprised by the men's designs. With that comment by Kevin "We know what we want to see on women" I thought their clothes were going to be a lot sluttier.

7. The guys must have fucked up only on price because their designs were better than the women's. Overall, the women's line was kind of boring. The men's line was edgier and looked like an actual designer designed it, instead of that some person wandered the racks at JCPenney and randomly grabbed things she thought was cute. The guys in charge of setting the price, Wes and Kevin, weren't shown ever doing research on price. Like they never showed the men asking buyers what women typically will pay for a skirt or anything. I mean the women are going to have an advantage, because they've all had years of buying experience for themselves and they know if 40 bucks is too much for a shawl or tank. Also, men historically pay more for their clothes I think. Designer labels aside, I think a man is more likely to purchase a $50 shirt than a woman, because men's clothing is normally more expensive than women's and men don't tend to bargain shop.

8. John was trying to set up Andy for the fall, because he figured Andy might be younger enough and less popular enough to take the hit. For him or whoever it was to say that Andy "didn't screw anything up but didn't do anything either" was a load of crap. Look at the last two people standing during last season. Kwame and Bill made an artform out of staying beneath the radar. And saying that Andy hasn't contributed during the weeks was a lie. The sweepstakes that led to their toothpaste win was his idea, even if he was thinking on a larger scale and they had to set the prize at $5000. It's more than Bill ever did and Bill won.

9. Prior to the boardroom my pick for the big firing was John. He really didn't do a great job as project manager. I mean he wasn't awful but he wasn't good either. He just did the minimum. His entire line came into fruition because Kelly stepped up. John should have taken Raj, Wes and Kevin into the boardroom. Kevin got a whole bunch of points in my book for defending Andy, even before he got picked to go against the firing squad. And Kevin and Wes may have been responsible for pricing but it looked like John didn't get involved with it at all. If they they got their asses handed to them by such a huge margin, then obviously the pricing was really screwed up. And in the end that means the project manager didn't place as much importance on it as he should have.

10. It's a hell of a lot more fun when the women are in the boardroom. The men are too mature in there. John should have chosen a different strategy for trying to keep his job. It looked really bad that he only brought Kevin into the boardroom when both he and Wes were in charge of pricing. And he should have tried to spin his mistakes rather than own up to them. Everyone who's ever worked in the corporate world knows that actually admitting to your own mistakes is career suicide. It's why the people at the top are often incompetent assholes and the people at the bottom and in the middle usually do most of the work. Bill probably fits into Trump's corporation perfectly with his incompetence but amazing ability to pass the buck and the blame off on others in a stealthy manner. John should have tried that. I'm going to miss him though. Even with those tacky ass sideburns he was the closest thing to eye candy the show had.