The Apprentice: Episode 10

The Apprentice: Episode 10

I still kind of have writer's block, as evidenced by my last really lame post. But at least my weekly Apprentice recap offers me some crap to throw on here. As if what people needed in life was more crap thrown at them. But ahh, way of the world kiddo.

So yes, I am still watching this show. I am too far in to stop now. Don't want to be like a gambler who walks away from the table with $20 in his pocket, just to cut his losses. Might as well toss that in and see if it rides.

And on to the show. Jen is so fake with her "I really like all of you" nonsense. I can't believe she said that with a straight face. What she meant was, "I really like all of you... you useless, moronic, spineless peasants. Bow to me. Bow to me NOW."

Andy at least wants to be Project Manager, which is more than I can say for the rest of his teap excepting Kelly. Lesbian Hair Chick/Eyebrows From Hell Chick is so fucking smarmy. Andy did an awesome job when he was PM, so she really has no foundation for her snotty "No, we're not just going to hand the job to you." Two seconds ago she was ready to hand it to Kelly and he only did a marginal job when he was PM. I think her eyebrows are interfering with her brainwaves.

Okay this show is fucking rigged. RIGGED!!!! Why am I watching this???? The task is a bridal salon, when Sandy's real job is running a bridal shop? You fucking fucks. At least TRY to hide the fact that the whole thing is rigged.

Lesbian Hair Chick/Eyebrows From Hell Chick/Incessant Blinking Chick is talking right now. Can someone please staple her eyes open. I think her blinking sends visual sumbliminal messages. Because after three seconds of watching her blink furiously, I just want to stab myself. Jen has an awesome body. She's manipulative, fake and all fluff with no substance, but she has a great rack. And in the end, on this particular show, that's really all that matters. Ivana NEEDED someone to tell her to advertise with the words "one day exclusive sale." She really is an idiot. That's like having to tell someone to mark the door leading outside with the word "Exit."

So Wes hit a pick-up while he was driving their rental truck... and they didn't show him leaving a note or anything. Gasp! The Apprentice is advocating hit and run driving. Kelly's team has pretty much dumped the bulk of the work onto Sandy. Lesbian Hair Chick is a big fat liar I think. Suuuuure the people at TheKnot.com edited out your contact number. It's too bad she's on the team that's going to so obviously win, because otherwise she'd be out.

Chris had a meltdown really early and now he's trying to salvage things. Passing out flyers at Grand Central/Penn was a decent idea but it's not going to save Apex. They're not going to get that many people from that. Something as specific as bridalwear needs target marketing. You can pass flyers out at Penn Station if Derek Jeter is signing autographs at Times Square or if you're having a one-day Kate Spade sample sale.

Okay, Mosaic has a long ass sample-sale-esque line outside their makeshift store. Apex has two people. This is going to be a sales massacre.

And of course, Mosaic kicked butt and their prize is a shopping spree at a diamond store. Andy got diamonds for his mom, Wes got diamonds for his wife and Kelly got diamonds for... himself. I'm telling you, the guy is gay. He designs women's dresses well, has perfect hair and likes diamonds. Oh and he also has PMS. That clinches it.

Chris is gone, there's no way he's surviving the boardroom. The producers set him up to fail. Okay Carolyn looks good this week, but she just made a pretty stupid comment. Almost as stupid as Trump's "The last thing dogs want to know is that they're helping cats" comment. She said the other team didn't have an advantage even though they had a bridal salon owner on their side. Yeah okay. Tell me how you became Trump's youngest high executive again. Oh yes.

WHY did Chris just send Jen back up to the apartment? What a fucking idiot. Way to let nice tits color your judgement. He so deserves a nice kick out the door. And his wife is probably watching this, wondering the same thing, and she's going to realize exactly why he did it. So it's a doublefuck for him. Not only did he get fired, after his wife watches this show he won't be getting the pussy for awhile. Anyway blah blah, the rest of the show was predictably boring. Chris is gone, and it doesn't matter because I don't even remember anything he ever did. In fact, which one was he again?

Geo just said the funniest thing. He said, "What if one of them spit in Donald Trump's face right after they got fired and said 'No, you're fired.' Ptoooey." HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh my God, I would so pay money to see that.