The Apprentice: Episode 9

The Apprentice: Episode 9

The task this week is for them to renovate a house in Long Island and then have it appraised. They brought back some guy I don't remember, the other Jennifer, Crazy Stacie and Bradford. Hopefully the houses are equally situated and similar in style.

The Other Jennifer and Crazy Stacie take turns buttfucking Ivana, who can say very little in her own defense so she runs away. She's such a dumb cunt. Jennifer, Stacie and Bradford are probably all equal in their hatred for her since she was instrumental in all their demises. If she survives this, I will be veeeeery surprised. Stupid bitch, I hate this chic. Every fucking season with these people. If they put on yet another ugly, ditzy and annoying Asian chick next season I am going to line up theApprentice producers and hit them each in the face with a shovel.

The blond Jennifer is annoying as all hell, fucking wannabe princess. Don't be afraid to be snotty just because everything in life has been handed to you on a silver platter. I can't believe I once thought she may have been a decent person. She needs a good lay. Probably about a hundred good lays, to counter a lifetime of being uptight. Someone please hand her a nice big dick on a platter before she gives me an aneurysm.

Oh wow, they hired "Carlos" for some nice and cheap Mexican labor. Oh and there go the mafia union guys. This show is so unrealistic. There's no way union guys are going to finish a job like that in that amount of time. They never even showed their morning coffee break, the mid-morning coffee break, the pre-lunch break, the lunch break, the after lunch break, the afternoon break, the second afternoon break and the it's-almost-quitting-time break. Fucking unrealistic show. This is like last season when the magic mystery buyers would come in two minutes before the deadline.

Can someone tell me why Sandy can't do house renovation work? She can't paint? She can't sand? She can't clean? She can't plug holes? Did I mention yet how much I hate the women on this show? The final houses were okay, except for Apex's last bathroom which was in pieces. Goodbye Raj. He did a horrible job, which doesn't surprise me in the least. Although I think they're going to find a way to pin it on Ivana. Yup, there goes Jennifer running her mouth off again. What a cunt. "I want people to be afraid of me." No one's afraid of you, you stupid bitch. You'd never "go after" anyone either because you might actually break a sweat.

God save me from this metrosexual thing. Now everyone thinks they can pull it off. Good-looking men can pull off the pink tie. People with lots of looks. LOOKS not money. Wrinkled, fat, old men with weak chins, trying desperately to hold onto their youth cannot rock the pink tie. Even if they have a 29-year-old trophy fiancee who is marrying them for LOVE of course, not MONEY.

The winners going to the Hamptons house of Denise Rich, the broad who bribed Clinton and the Democratic Party so that they would pardon her billionaire ex-husband Marc Rich. Nice. Then again DUH, of course Trump is "good friends" with these people. He's only slightly less sleazy than a middle-aged guy with his hand in his pocket at a playground.

And the boardroom battle begins. Okay as much as annoying as Ivana is, pinning the loss on her is a far stretch, no matter how much everyone except Chris wants it to be so. Princess Cunt is so fucking fake. After her lie about Crazy Stacie doing a great job, Ivana called her out on it and Donald Trump is such a fucking douche bag he didn't even realize that Ivana wasn't trying to talks smack about Crazy Stacie. God it irks me how someone so obtuse can be such a rich businessperson. Ivana wasn't trying to denigrate Stacie, she was pointing out what a fake liar Princess Cunt was. But of course no one in the boardroom notices that. Heaven forbid the Donald see any shortcomings in the most attractive woman in the room. And yes, once again, Donald Trump's trophy fiancee is marrying him for LOVE okay??? NOT MONEY.

Chris needs to quiet down. In his frustration he's pulling a Bradford. Just pack your shit up and go have a sandwich. Bitchslap Princess Cunt in the elevator to alleviate your frustration if you want. By the way, what happened to "You need me to go after Ivana" and all that tough talk in the interview? I don't supposed that in her bio it says that she's a partner in Daddy's Firm? Because so many things would make sense then.

If I were Raj, I would have brought Kevin and Jennifer in the boardroom. The "Ivana doesn't do anything" argument wasn't really going to fly because every time the cameras panned to Ivana, she was doing something. Unlike Princess Cunt, who was standing around looking like someone just came in her eye everytime the camera panned to her. I also would have agreed to Trump's suggestion to add Chris into the boardroom, and just let him dig himself a nice hole. Raj honestly could have survived this one. Trump likes him because he comes on to every female he sees. Trump respects that. Trump sees himself in Raj and realizes that if given the opportunity, one day Raj too might be engaged to someone who is marrying him for LOVE, not money. LOVE. Not MONEY, not wrinkly-dick sex, not MONEY, not fame, not MONEY, not the 100 million dollar penthouse, not MONEY, not the indignity of some old fat guy plowing away at you, not MONEY. LOVE.

Hey can anyone tell I was in a bad mood when I wrote this?