The Apprentice Finals

Bad Bug Karma and The Apprentice: The Finals

I am kicking myself for watching tonight's idiotic episode of The Apprentice. Trump should have just come out and said "Kevin, we can't have a black person again as one of the last two. We need a woman this time around. So because of Kwame, you're fired." After that he could have just said "Sandy, your presence here is pointless because you have no shot in hell and never did. It was stupid of me and our producers to include you, knowing that without a college degree you weren't going to get hired. So just like Troy from last season, you're fired."

Okay the person who has done nothing this season is going up against Kelly in the last show. I'm not a huge Sandy fan but she won her two tasks as PM and carried at least 2 other PMs to a win. Jen has... well, done nothing similar. I'd like to think the reason she didn't get sent home is that she is finally going to get her comeuppance for being arrogant, dishonest and shiftless all season. But I'm not that naive so I know the real reason is probably that:

1. If another white man wins as opposed to a white woman or a non-white man, people are going to bitch. And Sandy didn't have a college education (which I honestly think shouldn't have mattered.)

OR

2. The Donald is thinking with The Penis again. She's a cunt and a half but Jen is hot. And The Donald loves women who are attractive, especially those that are willing to marry him for LOVE, not MONEY. You hear that? LOVE. Not MONEY.

I have nothing else to say about this show. The fact that I actually watched it tonight makes me want to go bathe. And that means something.

So I've been looking over my shoulder and pretty much everywhere else all day today. I think I'm in for some really bad bug karma. I walked into the kitchen and inside one of the plastic bowls on my counter, there was one of those creepy-crawly things. The ones that are almost two inches and have like 30 legs that are pretty long. They're not centipedes and they're not millipedes. I don't know what they are but even I think they're disgusting and I'm not normally grossed out by bugs.

I poured my entire jug of water on it, but it hung onto some candy wrapper and used it as a flotation device. So then I tried to set the wrapper on fire, but it was made of plastic so it just kind of fizzled. So then I dropped hot wax all over it with the candle that was by the side of the stove, but that didn't kill it either. So then I just put a plate over the top and figured eventually it'd drown to death which it did. Yes, I realize that smooshing it would have been the most efficient form of disposal. Normally I just squash them up using a napkin. But I didn't want to go near this thing. This thing was like the tarantula of insects. What if it used its 30 legs to push up and launch itself onto me or something. Eeew eeew eeew.

I would rather deal with 10 crats (rats the size of cats) than ever have to see one of those things again. Unfortunately, there are a bunch of them in our basement according to Geo, who used to use one of the basement rooms as his home base for banging random chicks. So now that I have bad bug karma because I tortured it before killing it (even though it was my ineptitude and not any actual cruelty that prompted it), I just know I'll be seeing more. Great.