24: Hour Six

24: Hour Six

1. No one pistol-whips like Jack Bauer. He just makes it look so easy. Like he's going to hand you the gun afterwards and say "Now you try it." And for the jillionth time, Jack Bauer rocks. Did anyone doubt that he was going in there solo and coming out with his peoples, while obliterating every terrorist in the building?

2. Okay Audrey is definitely not the new Kim Bauer. She ordered Jack to save her dad first, risking the possibility that she would be killed. Kim would have been wailing. Then, she stabbed the terrorist guy who had a gun to her head. That takes balls of steel man. I was missing the chick that looked like Cate Blanchett but now I can't even remember her name. Susan? Kristen? Oh well. I still like her though.

3. Is it me or did anyone else feel bad for Terrorist Mom when she was crying? Perhaps it's the parent in me.

4. Whoops, no it's not. Secretary Heller just authorized TBG to torture his son for the information he's witholding and I yelled out "Yeah!!!! Take that you little punkass hippie freak!!!"

5. Why is Audrey married to such a fruitcake? The 24 writers missed a great opportunity for some snazzy dialogue when Jack entered the examination room. In MY version of 24, Audrey introduced her husband to Jack by saying "Paul, this is Jack, the guy I'm seeing. Not only did he just save me and my dad from certain death against incredible odds, he also has an enormous penis." And what's with the creepy peeping through the curtains foreshadowing? Is he going to go all psycho on her? I hope he doesn't think some banker can take on Jack Bauer. Jack Bauer eats bankers like him for breakfast and spits them out into um, a spittoon. Creepy Dork Husband is like one of those guys that bangs his secretary even though he has a hot loving wife at home just to make himself feel like more of a man.

6. At least now we know why Secretary Heller doesn't mind that his daughter is messing around with Jack. He's thinking "Okay well just go tell that little dork you married so he can get the hell out of our lives already. That guy couldn't save us out of a brown paper bag."

7. You go Terrorist Son, just beat Fruity Assassin Guy to death with a shovel. I wasn't feeling his hair anyway. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree huh.

8. Is it me or is it kind of sickening to see Jack and Audrey fondle each other? I don't want to see his hand on anything other than his gun, a rifle, an uzi, a grenade, an axe... you get my point. This is 24. Also, from a food whore standpoint, they need to feed the actress that plays Jack's girlfriend a bit more. Her cheeks are so sunken in you could pour some milk in and eat cereal out of them.

9. Four shows in and I'm already tired of the TBC plotline and how she's made the fat Computer Guy her bitch.