24 (This One's For You Kwame)

24 (This One's For You Kwame)

This weekend my main (television) man comes back onscreen, Jack Bauer. Yes, I realize he's fictional and that Kiefer Sutherland gambles and bangs random hoes in real life. But would it kill you to go along with it for a few moments? Jack Bauer will be back on 24, once again saving the country from foreign and domestic terrorists. I'm not really certain how they could possibly improve Jack Bauer. He's already cut some scumbag's head off, threatened to expose a terrorists' daughter to a deadly virus, shot Ryan Chapelle, taken torture like it was a walk in the park and cut his own partner's arm off to save him from a bomb. What could he possibly do next that would make me like him even more? I seriously hope this show isn't about to begin its inevitable decline.

Hopefully, this season will be good though. They already did the best thing they could have possibly done and removed Kim Bauer from the show. Thank the television gods. I'm not certain I could have borne one more season of screaming at this dumb broad. "What are you doing you stupid cunt rag, you're not REALLY a fucking agent. Two years ago you were a fucking BABYSITTER for God's sake. You're only here because your dad doesn't want you to start making porn."

Other people who are gone include Psycho Sherry and David "There are biological weapons loose in my country but I'm thinking about how I can nail my girlfriend on this conference table" Palmer. I can only assume they're taking Wayne "I'll just leave my fingerprints all over this dead chick" Palmer with them. I wonder what Fox is going to do now that their political correctness just flew out the door. Time to bring an Asian guy on who a) Isn't a CTU computer geek, b) Doesn't know martial arts but can still beat the shit out of terrorists and c) Gets ass like it's nobody's business. But they don't have to show the last part, because we've had enough of guys thinking about sex when they're supposed to be thinking about how to save the country from biological armageddon.

One reason I'm a bit leery of the season to come, is the fact that they've retained Chloe. Chloe was only slightly less annoying last season than Kim Bauer, in the way that having your hand slammed into a car door is only slightly less annoying than having both of your hands slammed into a car door. The producer made it seem as if only Jack Bauer and Chloe will be returning this season, which makes me wonder what the hell they're thinking. Tony Almeida gone? Good. Michelle Almeida gone? Good. Annoying Misogynistic Guy gone? Good. Chase gone? Well he only had one arm anyway. But why keep Chloe? I am baffled. We will just have to wait and see this Sunday. What a great television weekend... Wild Card Weekend AND the 4-hour (Sunday/Monday) season premier of 24.

One thing I learned from that website, which I found when I was trying to figure out when 24 was starting back up again, was that the producer for the show also produced Special Unit 2. Special Unit 2 was some show they had a few years ago, that I had completely forgotten about until I read that article. It was kind of a cross between Buffy, Charmed and some random police show. I couldn't quite pick one. It was about some secret department that goes after creatures that no one is supposed to know exist, like werewolves, vampires, gargoyles etc. I watched it a few times and thought it was a pretty decent show, so of course it got canned. But if it ever (for some bizarre reason) comes out on DVD, then I'll pick it up just to remember what I liked about it. Probably the fact that it was mindless.