1. Dante's Peak was on today and in one scene, Pierce Brosnan was trying to get Linda Hamilton in bed and she was unsure because it had been awhile. He said to her "It's just like riding a bicycle" to which she made some demure response I think. I however, was vastly disappointed in the writers' failure to identify an even more perfect line to use, "It's just like riding a bicycle, only you'll be riding me." Yeah okay, no more porn for me. Just kidding. Porn doesn't have dialogue.
2. That one Dell commercial with the man who had six fingers disturbed me. I was like, what in the hell does Dell think they're doing hiring the guy who killed Inigo Montoya's father. But then I remembered that:
a) The guy that killed Inigo Montoya's father only had six fingers on ONE hand and the guy in the commercial had six on BOTH hands.
b) Inigo killed that guy with a superb line, "Offer me anything." "Anything, it's yours." "I want my father back you son of a bitch."
c) The Dell guy doesn't REALLY have twelve fingers, that impostor.
3. So I switched from YACCS to the blogger commenting thing and while it works faster, I miss all the comments people left from the years back. Some of those were funnier than my posts.
4. You know you're a parent when it's 8:42 pm on a friday night and you're happy to be at home messing around on the computer. Three years ago I would have been in some NYC bar somewhere, with six empty shotglasses in front of me, wondering if the bar watered down their drinks. But when you're a parent, you KNOW you don't water down your own tequila so life is much better.
5. I added this Google ads thing to my blog a few months ago, which automatically picks up on certain words I use and selects ads based on them. Since I posted that New Jersey facts thing, my ads have been revolving around that. But yesterday I got on and saw this:
I really really think my Cuban friends would have an issue with me buying some of their peoples. People get kind of sensitive about that stuff.
6. This article about the motivational speaker who spoke to students about a career in stripping was kind of funny. I mean he had to have been on crack, either that or losing his mental faculties due to an advance case of syphilis. Conservative parents lose their minds when someone mentions the word "condom" in school for God's sake. I probably would have been annoyed but been able to deal with it appropriately.
"Mom? is it true that I can make more money as a stripper than as a doctor or accountant?"
"Yes honey, it's true. But you wouldn't enjoy being a stripper."
"Why not?"
"Think of how embarrassed you'd be if every night, you went to work and every night your heavily-armed mom went too and um, encouraged men not to look at you."
7. Isn't it funny how life forces you to challenge your own prejudices? Like for the past few years I've totally despised the state of Nebraska and all who dwell in or near there, ever since an Omaha-based corporation came all the way to New fricken Jersey, bought our company, fired all 1300 of us and then went back to Nebraska on their merry way. But now, one of my favorite blogfriends, Blog Ho is from there. And though his compadre Anti-Blogger is not, I thought he was so that counts. So now I'm forced to re-evaluate my previously held notions that Nebraskans are evil, corn-husking farmers-turned-venture-capitalists. They're really not that evil at all. By the way I'm just bullshitting, I got pregnant a month after I got laid off. The joy of knowing I'd be getting an extended break from the corporate world canceled any bitterness I might have had. Blog Ho is even coming to my wedding dressed as a Marvel character, woo-hoo!! Nebraskans rock!!
8. I totally scored some free food last night. Thanks Mike J!! So now I'm going to go eat my Cheesecake factory leftovers and keep planning my costume-ball/renewal-of-views. It's strangely addicting, since I'm fake spending. I hope I don't start OCD-ing over the whole thing. Oh who am I kidding, I'm already there. I was even considering going to Barnes and Noble and buying a wedding planner to organize my fake wedding notes.
9. I forgot to say thanks to Molly, for writing such a nice article about local bloggers!! Thanks Molly!
4 comments:
Who the hell said I was from Nebraska??
You mean you're not??? Okay, I'll fix that heeheee. Sorry! Don't get the fanties into a bunch.
Damn straight!! Oh, I mean, thank you. :)
But still mention me in the blog. I like to see that. Makes me feel warm.
Also, congrats on the news article. Good job! That was cool.
I had a dream last night that someone came and interviewed me to talk about my blogging skills. Jesus.
I felt so bad for the girl whose mom makes people tip the daughter. That is a sad bit of business.
And not that I'm...interested or anything, but...how much are Cubans?
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