Crap

Crap

So Geo and I are in the car a couple days ago, and we pass some bus stop advertisement that has a picture of a blind guy and says "Eric Somethingorother, Climbed Everest. Blind."

Me: Hey that's pretty fricken awesome.
Geo: How did he know he climbed all the way to the top? Maybe he was just standing on some ledge and he thought he was at the top, but if you look 20 feet to the left it keeps going up again.
Me: HAHHAAHAHAHAHA!!! You are so fucking foul.
Geo: Seriously though!
Me: Well they don't climb alone you know, they have sherpas with them.
Geo: Oh yeah I forgot about them.
Me: And I assume other people were there to document such a momentous journey.
Geo: Yeah I guess.

Okay I know I'm going straight to hell but it's Geo's fault, he put the idea in my head... so really it should be HIS karma that takes a hit from this, not mine:

God knows my karma can't take too many more hits, despite how valiantly I try to battle it with things like volunteerism and not taking the last slice of pizza.

I could never be a 911 Operator because I'd get in trouble like this guy. I'm sure hundreds of people in every city call 911 each day with some stupid problem, tying up the lines for people who have real problems. It'd be very difficult for me to resist saying "911 can't help you woman, but this might. Take the phone and beat some fucking sense into your head."

I am eating a buttered popcorn flavored lollipop right now. It's been 10 minutes and I still haven't decided whether it's good or disgusting. It's like the candy version of gorgonzola cheese.

Here's my confession... I am one of the three people still watching The Apprentice. Yes, I know I said I would stop but... well I didn't. I was reminded of course how much the NBA and NBC are in bed together, by the ludicrous phrase "Knick greats Tim Thomas, Jamal Crawford and Penny Hardaway." Yeah okay. And Walt Clyde Frazier, Willis Reed, Dave DeBusschere and Patrick Ewing were just scrubs. By the way, I take back everything bad I ever said about anyone on The Apprentice or pretty much any other reality tv show. Because Kendra is the most annoying person in the history of ever. And Pontiac is using the girly little brochure she designed as their main marketing tool, so I assume that gay men and women are going to be all about this car. It's an attractive car but it's kind of like the BMW roadster. Every time I see a man in that car I kind of look away uncomfortably, because I'm embarrassed for him to be seen in such an effeminate car.

How are there no laws that prohibit people who have been convicted of a sex crime from working around children when they're paroled? Is this another one of those civil liberties bullshit arguments again? How fucking "reformed" can he be as a child molester if he chose a career that caters to children. If he had no experience he could have been a waiter, busboy, store clerk, construction worker, you name it. Yet he chose a career that puts him around children every day. I don't believe in coincidences. Yay for the police for issuing their alert. Fucker.