A Demented Fairytale: Part Six
Parts 1-5 can be found here.
Right at that moment, the door burst open.
Red stood in the doorway, hands on her hips as she surveyed the room. "What the hell is going on in here?" She quickly spied Cinderella on her hands and knees, lips puckered towards a slimy green frog. "What? You'd sleep with a frog but not me? What the hell is wrong with me?"
"I'm not sleeping with him you ass," Cinderella said crossly. "I'm just giving in to some well-executed blackmail. He says he's a prince in disguise and that if I don't kiss him and free him he'll sing that infernal beer bottle song until I do."
"Which was two seconds away from happening before you so rudely interupted," The Frog Prince added.
Red eyed the frog skeptically. "You fell for that? I've heard about this guy. 'Place me on your chest and your boobs will get magically bigger,'" she mimicked.
"You pervert!" Cinderella exclaimed, jumping away from him.
"Oh my God that was ONE FRICKEN TIME," the Frog yelled, "After like 12 shots of tequila. Excuse me for not immediately realizing that my smaller body would not metabolize liquor very well. I wasn't yet used to being a frog."
"Well you can STAY used to it."
"Oh come on, you've already made me beg. And I've already had to stoop to blackmail. Can't we just get to it? Come on, PLEEEEEAAAASE???"
Cinderella looked up at Red for a moment, who shrugged. "Fine," she sighed. "Let's do this." She leaned over and kissed the frog on top of its head.
At first, nothing happened. "See!!!" Red yelled triumphantly, "I told you he was a con artist." Cinderella drew her foot back to kick a froggy field goal through the window. But then, yellow sparks began emanating from the frog's body. A loud bang ensued and then the expected instant cloud of white smoke. A few seconds later, the smoke cleared and standing in the frog's place was a good-looking guy with dark hair and deep blue eyes. Who also happened to be butt naked. And surprisingly well endowed for one who had been a frog not ten seconds past. And fairly excited, one could only assume, at not being a frog any longer. Cinderella gaped for a moment then averted her eyes. Red of course, approached him and began caressing his ass. "My, you do clean up well," she purred, sliding her hand around the front.
The Frog-Prince-Who-Was-Now-Just-A-Prince grabbed her hand and pulled it from his body, muttering "Dirty slut" as he walked over to Cinderella.
"Thank you woman" he said, raising her hand to his lips and kissing it. Cinderella wondered how the hell she had gotten herself into a room with a naked Prince and one very angry yet horny Red.
"No worries," she said, taking her hand back and leaving the room as Prince Dimwit entered. "Don't ask." She told him as they passed.
The Former Frog Prince looked over at Red. "I'm assuming someone as popular as you has men's clothing readily available?"
"Anything you say sugar," she said, sauntering over to the chest at the foot of the bed. Opening the lid, she took out a shirt and a pair of breeches. "What would you do for some socks and shoes?" She asked coyly.
The Former Frog Prince rolled his eyes and grabbed the clothes, hastily donning them before rushing out of the room after Cinderella. He caught up with her outside the cottage, as she sat under a large oak.
"Sorry if I offended you with my early morning wood." He said.
"It's not morning," she replied, laughing at him.
"There's a time difference where I'm from. Yeah okay forget it. I'm a guy and you're hot."
"Thanks," she said. "So what's your real name again?"
"It's James," he responded. "What about yours?"
"Cinderella? Really? Were your parents on crack?"
"No, weed." She explained. "Everyone thinks it's some mean nickname but it's actually my real name. The first thing my mother did after giving birth was light up a joint. Unfortunately, she hadn't named me yet and when the town marshal came by she was still high."
"Well, um... at least it's an interesting conversation piece. Can I call you Cindy instead?"
"Why not. I'm not overly fond of that either but it's not worse than Cinderella. So what does a Prince do who's been a frog for as long as you have?"
"Get laid I guess."
She looked at him in disgust.
"What??" He asked defensively. "What the hell did you think I was going to say, 'I'm going to Disneyland!!'?"
"So why didn't you hit it with Red?" She asked.
"I didn't stay a frog for years and years so I could turn back into a human then get some disease that makes my penis turn green" he replied.
"Well don't come sniffing over here for that shit."
"Don't worry about it. Like I told you inside, you're a bit too mouthy and high-maintenance for me."
"I'm not high-maintenance!!"
"That's what they all say toots. But let me ask you this, after we banged would you expect me to call you afterwards?"
"Then there you go. High-maintenance."
The Prince laughed as Cinderella growled and strode angrily back towards the house, certain that the scumbag was checking her ass out. She pushed open the door to her room and walked in on Prince Dimwit and Red, naked on the bed.
"Swrrmmpphhy, wempfhl gemft oth" Red said, fairly articulately considering her mouth was full.
"Never mind," Cinderella sighed, "I'll go sleep on the couch." Grabbing her cloak to use as a blanket, she wrapped herself up tight and lay down on the couch. A few minutes later she heard the front door open but she was already falling asleep.