May 23, 2005

24: Season Finale

24: Season Finale

1. Why does everyone at CTU question every single order ever given. I was yelling at the screen "Curtis, when Jack tells you to do something just fucking do it. Play the goddamn tape back already!!"

2. Michelle and Tony are somehow both gross and cute. I don't know how they can be these two things simultaneously but they are. Whenever they hug and kiss I'm always like "Yay but eeew!"

3. Is it wrong that I've hated Audrey and the President more than any terrorist they've shown? God they're despicable. Especially the President. If I controlled the world of 24, next season I would put the two of them (and maybe Edgar) into a Colosseum remniscent of Ancient Rome and see how they do versus some lions. Oh and the guy who tried to have Jack assassinated. He can run around in there too, with some raw steaks tied around his neck. Then again to the lions he'd just be one big mobile raw steak.

4. Imhotep is like the perfect image of The Terrorist. When he was hanging by one hand and he started stabbing Jack so Jack would let go of him, his gleeful, insane smile made my skin crawl. It's the same look I picture of the faces of suicide bombers and the 9/11 hijackers. This crazy, maniacal smile because all their wildest dreams are about to come true.

5. They had what, three whole jets out there searching for the missile headed towards Los Angeles? Admittedly I don't know much about air defense but that seemed a tad low. Then again if only two DoD agents were sent to retrieve the nuclear football, I guess three is a relatively large number.

6. Is it me or are the Chinese super-ultra loathesome? I mean, I'm half-Chinese and all but I watch their officials on 24 and think "I bet the show ain't too far off the mark." I mean let's face it, China is shady as hell.

7. Audrey had the second worst day ever, but Behrooz aka Terrorist Boy still wins the award. Audrey and her father were kidnapped, her brother was tortured, her boyfriend tortured her estranged husband, then they both died. Behrooz lost his girlfriend, lost his father who tried to kill him first, lost his mother who tried to save him first, then had something gouged out of his head. Audrey's head is intact and at least she still has her gay brother and dad.

8. I can't believe The Powers The Be had the audacity to end the season without giving Edgar a much needed ass-beating. I don't care that his mother died in a nuclear meltdown, it's not an excuse for abject stupidity. Jack is now um, "on the lam" because of his big fat mouth. I actually laughed out loud while typing "on the lam."

9. I have to wait until January to find out what happens to Jack?? Dammit. I guess until then I can just pop Season Two in the DVD player and pretend I've never seen it before.

    My wishlist for next season:

    -Jack finally gets a decent girlfriend.
    -Chloe and Edgar are not part of the cast.
    -Chase is brought back with a prosthetic arm with a hook on it.
    -But he leaves Kim Bauer at home, doing her soft porn movies.
    -The President is impeached because he gets caught in the Oval Office "servicing" one of his Secret Service agents.
    -Every so often they show someone coming out of a bathroom or eating a sandwich, or both simultaneously.
    -It's filmed somewhere other than Los Angeles, because it's getting too much to pretend that people can get from Canyon Country to downtown L.A. in ten minutes, at four o'clock in the afternoon.

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