More Stuff

More Stuff

1. I hung out with Leen last night, she just moved here from California for grad school. Mike J and I introduced her to life in New Jersey with Indian food, pool and a crapload of shots. I also introduced her to the wonderful world of being my friend by offering up her services as incentive to get Mike to sink the 8 ball when he was my partner. "Mike, sink that 8 ball without scratching and Eileen here will give you a 3-hour blowjob." Of course he sank it. To pour salt on the wound, we were playing against her. Oh well. We'll just keep that blowjob in the bank for a rainy day. Men like to say they're complicated creatures but they're really not. It's just that instead of cash or gold as a monetary unit, they work for blowjobs.

2. If you thought my friend Sean was bad with the drawing in the last post, check out this link my friend Nik sent out of Lego p0rn. And you all thought Sean had too much time on his hands. You know what's just as weird as that? Barbie p0rn a la Paris Hilton. Far less weird are the twisted Care Bears, though I'm secretly wanting White Power Bear because he'd look funny in my house.

3. I have decided to eliminate my worst habits one by one. So I'm quitting smoking... again. But this time, my effort will be real. I obviously can do it, I gave it up when I was pregnant and while I was nursing. It's just time I think. I've been smoking for ten years. That's ten years of rampant stupidity. The true tests will be during social events and after heavy meals. Geo says he's quitting as well, which means we'll probably be at each other's throats once the withdrawal sets in. Wish us luck.

4. I don't know what is in the air but in the last week or so I've been on at least fifteen random blogs discussing women and motherhood and how women have it so bad because they have to "give up so much." Did I miss something? Were we somehow pushed back into the 1950's and no one bothered to tell me? I always thought it was a pretty simple concept. If you're a woman and you don't want to give up your career, enroll him into daycare and keep working. I think all the benefits of a mother staying home with her kids are negated when said mother is unhappy with her choice. Plenty of women balance successful careers and being a parent, without raising a drug-addicted serial killer. The main things you "give up" when you're a parent are staying out every night, convenience and maybe binge shopping. I know single women who have kids and yet still manage to work, go to school and spend time with them. J.K. Rowling wrote the first Harry Potter book while her first child was sleeping next to her in a stroller.

Life is not just about what happens to people. It's also about their outlook on those events and the choices they make. I'm not saying that women don't have the right to complain, of course they do. I just don't understand why it's so widely accepted that a woman "gives up everything" when she has kids. I like to think that having kids trimmed the fat off my life. I gave up a cushy job with a nice salary and title and gained two mischievous brats who like to throw food at me, poop a lot and yell "Why why why" when I tell them not to do something. I think it was a great bargain.

5. I was going to work out today but instead I decided to cram a whole bunch of potato chips into my mouth. Incidentally, I recently discovered the best snack in the history of snacking, Chex Mix Turtle. It has chocolate chex, caramel chex, honey roasted peanuts, salted pretzels, caramel popcorn and milk chocolate candies. It's like the crack of the snacking world. If I really was an actual food whore people could pay me with these and I'd give them a 10% discount.

6. I had a moment of American/British arrogance the other day. I assumed that Tchaikovsky's 1812 Overture was written about our War of 1812 but it was written about Napoleon's invasion of Russia. Romeo and Juliet was still based on Shakespeare's play and not two Russian lovers named Romeo Stalinsky and Juliet Federova right? Just making sure. I read his bio too, not sure how I missed that.

7. This post took too long to write. I've just been disinclined to blog lately. Maybe after 3 1/2 years of blogging I've finally run out of material. Or maybe I'm just being lazy. Yeah, that's probably it.

8. Best IM I've received this week: "i'm dense sometimes. remember my first experience? i was making out with this chick in high school (in the tree house) and she's completely naked, and she had to whisper in my ear 'fuck me' ... twice." We tease the guy a lot about all the scenarios he's had like this, but in this day and age I guess it would be politically correct to wait for verbal consent. But if she's naked and giving you a tongue bath I think it's safe to say she's on the tarmac and waving you in.