Tequila Shots For The Radio: Volume 7

Tequila Shots For The Radio: Volume 7

Last night's show can be downloaded here. The musical theme was "Songs That We Used To Jam To In College" (1993-1997) and consisted of Cypress, Heltah Skeltah, Cranberries, OMD, Blackstreet, old school deep house and other stuff. There were a lot more songs in the queue but it was one of those nights were I talked and talked, then glanced at the clock and realized a crapload of time had gone by and I hadn't played that many songs. We're supposed to play at least 4 songs an hour. Rules? We don't need no stinkin' rules!! Just kidding.

Highlights:

-It's not automatically "racist" to think we need to have stringent immigration laws in this country. It would be a mess if we didn't. Not just in terms of national security but also economically.

-I love this country. Love it. Perhaps it's because my parents both came from small, poor towns in China and the Philippines. As my dad so often says, "If I had never come here you'd be some Chinese peasant girl." Thanks. Yet true.

-I said it was okay to have our national anthem in Spanish but I was under the impression that it was our regular anthem translated into Spanish. But it's not, it's the tune of our anthem bastardized into some political propaganda for this immigration bullshit going on. So Wyclef and Company, here's a big FUCK YOU. I hope you get huge pimples on your back. (That's the evilest wish my karma can take this week. I can usually do better.)

-Sometimes the drunken nights end in ways that are truly ludicrous and my fault entirely. A few years ago, Geo and I came home from a night of drinking and drank some more. As usual, we felt frisky after all the liquor and started getting down and dirty on the sheepskin rug in our living room. In the middle of it all, Geo started getting dizzy so we stopped and he went to the bathroom. In the short time he was there, I somehow completely lost track of what we had been doing and decided I was hungry. We used to live above a band and when we came in after the restaurant, I accidentally left my take-out on the table in their studio. So I put on a robe and went downstairs to get my food. While down there, a couple of the band members asked me about these piranha we used to have that were like a foot long. I invited them back upstairs, again having completely forgotten what Geo and I had been doing.

We get upstairs, I open the door and there is Geo laying butt naked on the rug... and I have no idea why. So I start yelling like he's some sort of deviant pervert "Geo!!!! What are you doing NAKED?!?!?!" He sees the guys behind me and grabs this big Sponge Bob Squarepants stuffed animal my nephew left behind, using it as a smooshy yellow fig leaf. I proceed to tell the guys to go ahead and check the piranha out, even while Geo is sitting there naked. They were so confused because either a) I was trying to concoct some elaborate pron scheme but Geo wasn't on board with it or b) Their naked friend was in the middle of having sex with his girlfriend, who for some reason was telling them to go look at their fish tank. I can't tell that story without laughing hysterically but I truly am a complete idiot sometimes. Luckily, Geo still married me after that.

-Dean asked in the chat room "If a girl loses her virginity doing it doggy will it have a negative effect on her psyche?" The answer is yes. If a girl loses it that way then she spends the rest of her life banging strange men and asking them to jizz on her face. Also, according to him "Nobody Knows by Tony Rich Project is the worst song ever to do it doggy to."

-How I once dipped into the herbal essences and when Tony and my roommates in college walked in, I was flying high and watching "Butt Banged Bicycle Babes" (about 11 inches from the screen by the way) and eating chocolate chip cookies dipped in tap water since we didn't have milk.

Those are the highlights but there's much more of course. Thanks for listening, especially the people who listen live and hang out in the chat room. I feed off you, much like the piranhas we used to have before they all ate each other, but in a nicer way.