June 27, 2006

Miscellaneous Movie Thoughts

Miscellaneous Movie Thoughts

1. Cars was really cute. The dialogue wasn't as witty as its Pixar predecessors, but it was still entertaining and fun. I know I was ready to plunk my credit card down for a load of Cars merchandise. And in the end isn't that all that matters?
2. I watched the re-make of The Parent Trap and Dreamer last night and hopefully Dakota Fanning doesn't take the Lindsey Lohan route to adulthood. Or the Drew Barrymore route. Or the MacCauley Culkin route. Dakota Fanning just might be my favorite actress right now.
3. Also, Meg Ryan is on crack because Dennis Quaid is about a hundred times hotter than Russell Crowe AND he doesn't have a rash on his penis.
4. The funniest line in Grandma's Boy is "My cock is lost in the jungle Lara (Croft) and it's up to you to find it." The second funniest is "Dude I can't believe you came on my mom. You might just be the biggest perv in the world right now."
5. For every actor/actress that normally annoys me there's at least one of their movies that I like. For Tom Cruise it's Top Gun. For Julia Roberts it's Notting Hill. For Jennifer Lopez it's Maid in Manhattan. Except Brad Pitt. Fight Club was good and all but not good enough to make me sit through 2 hours of Brad Pitt again.
6. It's too bad a blowjob from a drag queeny hooker dealt such a blow (heh) to Hugh Grant's career. Admittedly I have a soft spot for British guys but he's charming in movies.
7. As is Paul Bettany. I've watched Wimbledon about eight times in the last month, just for him. Even Geo likes the movie and Kirsten Dunst is on his list of actresses that annoy him (along with Julia Roberts and Renee Zellweger).
8. It's painful to see crappy chick lit books made into crappy chick lit movies. Also, the phrase chick lit always brings to mind those candy-coated pieces of gum. My favorite were the pink ones. The green ones not so much.
9. I've been bitten by hidden mosquitoes ten times in the six minutes it has taken to write this post so far.
10. Make that eleven.
11. Someone told me that 13 Going On 30 "was a pretty good movie." This person is male and one of my best friends. Maybe. Since he had made a point of saying it was good, I watched it. Now I want that hour and a half of my life back, so I can spend it on something more fun like getting kicked in the kidneys.
12. Comedic acting seems to be a lot harder to do than dramatic acting. I buy a lot of actors' serious roles, but only a few of them have good comedic delivery.
13. The 40-Year-Old Virgin is hysterical and cast perfectly and they don't have any really big names. If you have to say "That guy Steve Carell from The Office, that show on NBC" then it doesn't count as a big name yet. Versus Anchorman which starred a couple of the same people, plus Will Farrell, Vince Vaughn and cameos from about 30 famous comedians and yet wasn't half as funny. It's probably just me though, it's the Napoleon Dynamite phenomenon. Apparently the entire world thought Napoleon Dynamite was the funniest movie in the history of ever, whereas I sat through it and prayed to God that it would be over soon.
14. I rarely ever turn movies off before they're finished but I came close with both of those. My hand caressed the remote longingly many times, but I kept thinking the movie had to get better because there was no way it could get worse. Foolish, optimistic child.
15. Many movie fans with limited resources pounce on "Buy 2 Get 1 Free" previously-owned DVD sales. Yet a by-product of this is that sometimes you end up with DVDs you eventually lose the desire to watch, even once. Kingdom of Dreams has been sitting on my shelf for months. I recently removed it from the "newer DVDs" section of my shelf to its permanent spot in alphabetical order, and yet I haven't watched it.
16. I watch Hocus Pocus and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas year-round.
17. Like Water For Chocolate, Eat Drink Man Woman, Chocolate, Babette's Feast and even Simply Irresistible are all great, but we really need more movies about food.
18. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind was one of the more original and bizarre movies I've ever seen. Yet realistic in its portrayal of love. Love is giddiness, sunshine and roses, walks on the beach and mad dashes through the airport to declare your feelings. But it's also rage and despair, insecurity, cruelty and confusion. Most of the time it's comfort, laughter, compromise and a natural instinct to gravitate towards each other. But every so often the uglier human emotions rear their ugly heads and can only be purged through screaming matches, tears, flying cell phones and make-up sex.
19. My checklist for whether or not I like a movie is pretty simple. "Was there action?" "If no, did things at least get blown up?" "If no, did anyone have superpowers?" "If no, is it at least a funny movie?" "If no, is it gay like Maid of Manhattan or Notting Hill?" (Because then I'll probably like it.)
20. My Top 10 list of favorite movies changes as I watch more and forget about others but currently it stands as (in no particular order):

Top Gun
Lord of the Rings
Fist of Legend
House of Flying Daggers
Under Siege
Die Hard
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(Aren't they making a fourth?)
Empire Strikes Back
Man On Fire

And.... Dreamer. Okay so that's 11, but the last one is the invisible one.

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