Stuff

Stuff

1. Haven't been following Rudy Giuliani for the last few years, but when I worked in the city from 1997-2000 I read every article in every NY paper about him. I remember nodding my head a lot and cheering him. My point is if Giuliani ran for president in 2008 I'd probably volunteer on his campaign.

2. I did a search on that Ford commercial where the woman in the passenger seat says "Gracias Manuel" after her ex moves a tree out of the road for her and her boyfriend. I found a whole bunch of white supremacy boards pissed off about the fact that her white boyfriend was portrayed as a dork, and an equal amount of Spanish boards pissed off that her Mexican ex-boyfriend was doing "manual labor" (if one can consider driving a truck actual manual labor.) Really, I just wanted to know who the hot guy is that played the ex in the pickup. I have a thing for guys in cowboy hats. It stems from that episode of Baywatch Hawaii (which I used to watch on mute) where Jason Mamoa struts around in faded jeans and a cowboy hat.

3. There are people in the world that eat out of trash bins. Yeah, that's no news flash. But the people I'm referring to call themselves Freegans and eat out of trash bins because they want to, not have to. I'm going to chalk the "Freegans" up to yet another group of people I can't wrap my brain around, right along with:

-Scientologists
-Furries (those people that get turned on by furry mascot suits)
-People who like to get pissed or shat upon
-The Amish

4. I am turning 30 in 11 days and I keep hearing the million dollar question, "Riss, what do you want for your birthday?" Which is weird because I'm easy to shop for ...right? I mean they could pretty much just show up at my house with a bag of McNuggets and some Spicy Buffalo sauce. But then I figured they probably know what I've lusted over but don't know what I already have. So here is my Amazon wishlist, knock yourself out if you're so inclined. You'll notice that there are American-type Turkish delights on there, listed as "highest priority." Yum. YES! I've joined a gym.

5. Last year celebrities were using teeny little dogs as accessories. This year it's teeny little babies. I wonder what next year's "it" thing to have will be. Midgets maybe.

6. The night before last, I shut off Law and Order: SVU and went right to sleep. The episode was about people who are addicted to sex and need it like 4 times a day or they go crazy. I guess the way I feel when I wash my hands and need lotion. Anyway, I dreamt that I was having sex with Batman and he didn't want to jump the gun so to speak, so he pulled out. But it was too late and he shot it right into my eye. It wasn't a bad dream. Those tormented superheroes are the ones to go for. They just get right down to business and bypass the Cosmo stuff. Let's imagine for a moment that superheroes were real, and what they'd be like in bed. The Flash aka "Fastest Man Alive" well... that's pretty self-explanatory. Superman would probably be a bit scary, because you never know if that super strength might come out at the wrong time.

7. It's weird how a complete lack of common sense is so accepted these days.

"I put a steel implant in my penis and it broke."
"I smoked 5 packs a day for 40 years and now I have cancer."
"I put a huge bag of silicone in my tit and it popped."

Really? You think?