Quickly

Quickly

1. I have the Chicago defense on my fantasy team. Don't hate me because they're beautiful.

2. My two favorite random college names are "Duquesne" and "Old Dominion." I don't know a single person who has ever gone to either of those universities, and I doubt I ever will, but they are fun to say.

3. This site is the number one Google search result for "meatspin dot com." And you people thought my goals were impossible to attain.

4. My gym needs a sign between their other signs ("Please allow people to work in their sets" and "No glass bottles") that says "Just because you CAN wear spandex doesn't mean you SHOULD."

5. Anyone seen the "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter" hot air party balloon commercial? I want to hang out on it. They're in evening wear, plus there's a buffet presumably consisting of foods slathered with fake butter. What's not to like.

6. If I had the money, I would resolve disputes with my neighbors eactly like this guy in Utah.

7. You know the saying, blowjobs are like pizza, even if it's bad pizza it's still pizza. One of my friends asked me the other day if oral sex for women was like oral sex for men. My answer is no. When a guy is down there who has no clue what he's doing, it's just plain awkward. Like finding your mom's vibrator awkward.

8. No idea yet what the future of my internet radio show is. At first it felt like no one wanted us. And now it feels like lots of people want us. I'm confused. And by "us" I mean the Mango Radio DJs, not me and my multiple personalities.

BRB I'm still not done with this post yet. I need to hit at least 10.