In Defense of Dodgeball

In Defense of Dodgeball

On the phone with Kwame the other day, I once again lamented the loss of the impromptu Wednesday dodgeball games of um, yore. Which led to a dual ten-minute rant on all those kids on today's playgrounds, who will never know the joys of the game. Here are "10 Things You Learn From Dodgeball:"

1. STRENGTH - When you get hit, rest for a bit then jump back in with the same enthusiasm. Don't sit and dwell on how horrible it was to get hit and don't worry about getting hit again. Marvel over how hard you got pegged and yet you're still playing.

2. COURAGE - Never let your fears control you. When you're the team's last hope and six people have their arms cocked back and you in their sights, don't let fear prevent you from getting the job done. Or when it's one-on-one and you're both locked in your tiny circles ten feet away from each other, man up and take that fucker out.

3. DISCIPLINE - As tempting as it is to peg that cocky jerk in the T.O. jersey with a close-range head shot, it's against the rules.

4. PERSEVERANCE - Sometimes you have to overcome adversity to achieve success. Tony broke his finger and finished the game.

5. AMBITION - To peg people properly, you sometimes have to take risks and leave yourself open for a moment. To win big you have to take big risks. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Whether it's one of the 6 balls set up in the middle prior to the whistle or a new job, only people that try will succeed.

6. TEAMWORK - Sometimes you have to take one for the team, such as setting yourself up as bait so that your teammate can take out the other team's best assassin when he goes for you.

7. RESPONSIBILITY - When you're the last person it's up to you to avoid being hit AND bring someone back in. No one else is going to do it for you.

8. AWARENESS - Sometimes the hits come from where you least expect it, so you have to be mindful of your surroundings, young Padawan.

9. HUMILITY - Everyone gets pegged some time. No one is above an ass whooping in the form of 6 rubber balls thrown hard enough to leave a mark.

10. SELFLESSNESS - There is no "I" in "Dodgeball."