March 20, 2007

24 Season Six: Hour Thirteen

24 Season Six: Hour Thirteen

1. Mrs. Graeme Bauer brings new meaning to the phrase "skank ass whore." Hey lady, your father-in-law just killed your husband like 8 minutes ago. Your son is in the other room, having almost been killed himself by his own grandfather. You were shot at a bunch of times. Aren't there other things on your mind besides slipping your tongue down Jack's throat?

2. I'm having difficulty believing that Audrey Raines would go to China and look for Jack. Then again, she did get kind of ballsy at the end of last season. I don't think she's dead though.

3. Agent Doyle's response to Pubes' outrage at Shiny Hair Nadia being racially profiled is the best line of the show. "You're just itching to sleep with her." I accidentally spit out my iced tea when I cheered. Although Pubes lost any chance of Shiny Ass when he failed to assure Nadia that he believed in her innocence.

4. Oh no, there's a mole at CTU! What an original storyline! My money's on Pubes. It's pretty amusing how every season there's one random innocent chick who gets tortured. There's something about Agent Ricky not giving in to Shiny Hair Nadia's womanly tears that makes me respect him.

5. Bill really is the best boss ever. Jack pretty much said "I'm super pissed about this whole Audrey is BIG RED STAMP DECEASED and so I'm going to go out and kill the motherfuckers responsible" and Bill just nodded and gave his "I get that" look.

6. Did anyone else turn to whoever they were with when Agent Ricky said "Do you want me to run point" and scream out "Oh no he didn't!!!!" Balls of steel. You don't ask Jack Bauer if you should run point unless he's dead. Then out of respect you should meekly ask his corpse if you can run point.

Kwame's 24 Thoughts

1. Jack has broken rib fragments and for some reason this season it's some sort of big deal. A few seasons ago Jack was DEAD. Flatlined. Done. Two minutes later he was hot wiring cars and saving the country. Give me the old Jack back please.

2. I get the whole "drone plane" thing, I really do. But couldn't they use some better effects? It looks like the terrorist guy is playing some remix version of Afterburner.

3. You have to love Audrey Raines walking into the dramatic music. Ok no you don't. Actually it's more amusing than anything.

4. My case for why, Marilyn might be the worst person on the planet:

-She's trying to hit it with Jack after her husband died about 3 hours ago
-Her son is still not over the death of his "father" but she's more concerned about banging her ex.
-Jack is still not over the death of her husband who happens to be his brother, and whom he tortured before he died, but she's still trying to bang Jack.
-She tops the whole thing off by basically saying "It's ok to bang me because oh, didn't anyone tell you, your girlfriend is dead."

5. Speaking of Audrey, when Jack asked Chloe asking what happened, I wanted her to say: "Well Jack she joined a show on ABC called The Nine. The show had a decent concept but was poorly executed. Plus, Audrey was just as annoying on that show as she was on 24 and the show was cancelled after about eight episodes."

Also, I call "bullshit" at the idea that Audrey would go to China to try to break Jack out. It's just not believable. This is the same person that couldn't decide between Jack and her husband.

8. Ricky, Ricky, Ricky... Please stop. The tough guy act isn't working. They can't seriously be thinking about turning the 24 franchise over to this guy. That's like when the Giants went from Phil Simms to Dave Brown (Sorry for the football reference, I'm just in withdrawal.)

9. I like the torture scenes more when that metal briefcase is involved. Or when Jack is shooting knee caps or using plastic bags. Traditional choke holds bore me.

10. Ricky how dare you ask if you should run point? Jack ALWAYS runs point. If Jack is missing both arms he runs point. If Jack loses his memory he runs point. If Jack's only weapons are a post-it and a paper clip he runs point.

11. Ok Riss, you're the political science major so answer this for me. Can a President fresh out of a coma make decisions that will affect the security of the country? I have a feeling what the answer is but I want your expert opinion before I jump to any conclusions. (Ed's note: The 25th Amendment says that the Vice-President and Congress can temporarily remove power from a President they believe is not capable of performing his duties. I think being ten feet from a bomb blast that sends him into a coma is a pretty legitimate reason to believe someone might be too mentally impaired to perform the most stressful job in the world. Incidentally, I majored in Business Economics, not poli sci.)

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