Potpourri For A Thursday

Potpourri For A Thursday

I went to The Junkyard last night to go watch Love Lies Bleeding. I was really tired so the night kind of passed in a haze but I did make a new friend who looks like a combination of Portia Di Rossi and Jewel. Men at the Junkyard never seem to try and approach you like humans. They just grab your hand like monkeys who want you to go see something. You ever notice that clubs in rich places have names like "The Junkyard" and "Tin Alley Grill" while clubs in ghetto areas have names like "Champagne Palace" and "The Crystal Room"?? This doesn't apply in New York City however, where there are three clubs on every block -- and clubs in all restaurants, bars, grocery stores, Starbucks, subway stations and ATM vestibules.

Mike actually said something funny last night: "Hasidic Jews drive as if God is their co-pilot." (Mike's Jewish so I guess he's allowed to say that without the Politically Correct Police screaming "OPPRESSION!!!")

I was outside my building today and it's a beautiful day. I don't know about you guys but I get really happy on days like these...it's like it bubbles up inside of me and I can't contain it...but in a good way, not like gas. It's the perfect temperature, sunny and a bit breezy. I guess it makes me feel happy because it reminds me of being back in Los Angeles. I've been on the east coast since I graduated college in 1997 and I've always just felt like a visitor. I mean I like Jersey a lot and New York is aight if I don't go there more than twice a month. But everytime the plane lands at LAX I get this feeling like I'm home. I love Los Angeles, I don't know how I've managed to stay away this long. So days like this one remind me of that and in conclusion, I'm in a sunshiney mood today!

Kwame wants to talk about Grand Theft Auto 3 so we will...that game is the bomb. George has the cheats so we have invincibility (you NEVER die) and unlimited weapons. I admit when I first watched my friends playing the game I was a bit nauseated. But after about 10 minutes I became completely de-sensitized to it because it is so obviously a video game. It's not like anyone (well anyone I know) is actually going to try and play it out on the streets of Manhattan. That's reserved for crazy people whose psychosis would have been triggered by something anyway. I read an article two days ago about some guy who shot his girlfriend because she said the words "New Jersey" which never fails to drive him into a murderous rage. A verbatim quote from the article:

"Other words that freak Mitchell out are "Wisconsin," "Snickers" and "Mars," according to his lawyer Maria Luisa Mercado. Witnesses at his trial avoid saying the offending words by using flash cards. At an earlier competency hearing, Mitchell became enraged after seeing the word "Snickers" on one of the cards."

Can you believe THAT shit? Anyway back to GTA3... great game. It took me two days to figure out how to bang the hooker. Usually she would just walk away from me and I would end up beating the shit out of her. My favorite weapon is the rocket launcher. When I play it's like a pyromaniac's wet dream out there.

My friend Chrissie told a story about how some co-worker's husband cheated with the babysitter. I told her it made sense...Why pay a hooker $30 to suck your dick when you can pay the babysitter $4/hour AND she watches the kids?

Kwame suggested I post up bios of all my various friends, since I'm always mentioning everyone and no one knows each other. That's actually a pretty cool idea. I'll send out an e-mail once I figure out the questions..."Age...Height...Ethnicity...Number of People You've Banged" hahahaha.

Next Thursday on Friends they will continue with the absurd storyline of Joey's love for Rachel by having him tell her. Am I the only one who doesn't like this new plot? Just think...if her and Joey have sex, his penis will be alongside Ross's baby.