MTV's Video Music Awards
You know, I didn't watch these. Which comes as no surprise to me since I watch MTV about once a month for exactly a minute. There's something about the MTV culture that annoys the hell out of me, but I have yet to pinpoint exactly what that is. Maybe it's because its programming seems to be a non-stop showcase of super-irritating people, who I'm then going to be forced to read about even in legitimate news sources. Like Carson Daly and Ananda, for example. I'm highly annoyed at MTV for placing people like Carson Daly and Ananda into my sphere of consciousness. Ananda even had (has?) her own talk show at one point which I was forced to watch once because the "friend" whose house I was at wanted to watch it. I placed friend in quotes because REAL friends don't let you drive drunk OR watch shows hosted by people whose ages surpass their IQs.
So, I wanted to do one of my event rundowns without actually experiencing the pain of the event. I know, I know... I'm such a wus. That's the best part of the event rundown is knowing that I actually had to sit there and watch it. I guess I could catch one of the reruns but I'm not going to. Instead, I'm on the VMA website and I'm just going to read the list of winners and agree or disagree.
Best Video of the Year, Best Male Video and Best Rap Video: "Without Me" by Eminem -- I'm going to have to agree with this one completely. This video cracks me up everytime I see it. He's so weird I actually think he and I would get along really well. In a psychotic kind of way.
Best Female Video: "Get The Party Started" by Pink -- Okay yeah. If you take every ounce of agreement I had with the Eminem win, that's how much disagreement I have with this one. Pink is annoying as hell. Is she black? Is she white? And this video was lame as hell. It's truly indicative of why these awards shows suck, because the most popular people always win as opposed to the people who truly put out good videos. The Pink video barely even had a plot. It's just her scowling and preening and prancing in front of the camera for 3.4 minutes. I would have gone with the Michelle Branch video. But that's only because I've never heard of her so she hasn't annoyed me yet.
Best Group Video: "Hey Baby" by No Doubt featuring Bounty Killer. This seems to be one of those moments where MTV wants to seem "underground" with their pick. I would have gone with Blink. But that's because I like Blink videos. They're funny as hell. Linkin Park might also have gotten my vote, even though I've never seen the video for "In The End." Kickass song though.
Best R&B Video: "No More Drama" by MaryJ. I'm really surprised it wasn't Alicia keys. MTV has had their collective tongues stuck up her ass since she first came out. I would have gone with the Aaliyah video, but not for sentimental reasons. I would have gone with her because Aaliyah was slammin and she knew how to move. Her videos are always fun to watch and it sucks that she's not around to watch more. Instead we get "J Lo" and Pink videos for the rest of our lives. Hooray. Speaking of which...
Best Hip-Hop video: "I'm Real" Jennifer Lopez featuring Ja Rule. Excuse me, it's hard to type while vomitting. I would have gone with "The Whole World" by Outkast because that is one bangin' song.
Best Dance Video: "Get The Party Started" by Pink. See also comments for "Best Female Video." I really think Kylie Minogue should have gotten the honors for making a pretty good comeback, and looking awesome while doing it. She must be like 38 years old or something but she looks pretty damn good. And it couldn't have been easy climbing back after all that stuff with Michael Hutchence killing himself.
Best Rock Video: "In The End" by Linkin Park. You know.... why am I doing this? I haven't even seen 90% of the videos we're discussing. I would have gone with "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World if only because that song is awesome and you know it's going to be their One Hit. All the other bands in the running (Creed, Linkin Park, Korn, P.O.D., System) all have had multiple hits. Might as well send these guys out with a bang.
Best New Artist In A Video: "Complicated" by Avril Lavigne. Huh??? Who?? Damn... whoever this Ashanti chic is was nominated like 7 times and didn't win anything. There should be some sort of rule that if you get over 4 nominations you should be guaranteed one. Ashanti is going to be the Susan Lucci of the MTV awards.
Guess what movie is on USA right now... She's All That. And guess what I'm going to do... Yes, I'm going to stop writing this and go watch the movie. ARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOATHE MYSELF!!! By the way, why is it that Paul Walker looks good in The Fast and the Furious but looks awful in this movie? Okay I have to go. The movie started already. By the way I have this movie on DVD.